What a Cnut.

That's the kind of thing that people say to you when they find out that you're Scottish. And quite frankly it pisses me off. To a whole new level of pissedoffedness. Therefore I have decided that in order to address the whole "Scottish people are all ginger haired, are tight with money and drink too much." situation I'm proposing that Scotland makes the Dropkick Murphys version of Scotland the Brave as the official national anthem in order to scare the living piss out of anyone who even thinks about throwing around any of those stereotypes. The Dropkick Murphys version of Scotland the Brave is a mix of the old and the new and has the added bonus in that there are no words to learn, which is an advantage for the football fans who are usually too drunk to sing anyway. So, Ladies, Gentlemen and unknowns... I give you the Dropkick Murphys... Cadence To Arms/Scotland the Brave .

When standing behind the bar at work, I'd say that the people who frequent the place are more often than not brainless idiots... It's been about three weeks since I started my new job and without fail whenever a new face (new to me anyway) comes in the most popular question is "What football team do you support?" [1] To me this suggests one of two things. Either A.) They are brain-dead. Or B.) They are mindless idiots who measure a man, not by his deeds or his actions, but by which colour the overpaid Prima Donnas kick an inflated pigs bladder around a field he supports wears. [2] Both of these things are not good. Not good in the extreme if you ask me. I mean what kind of retard judges a man based solely on the football team he supports? Yes, you got it, the kind that likes to drink heavily, watch football and beats the shit out his girlfriend on a regular basis. In other words, my customers. Seriously, what is the mindset of someone who will come to a judgement on...

And my new place of work is nothing like a nice quiet pub... So, I'm back in the land of the worker after a small sojourn as a government artist (I was, after all, drawing benefits...) and I have come to the conclusion that I need to get the hell out of bar work before I go irreversibly insane. It's not that I hate working behind a bar, it's more down to the fact that the bar I'm working in makes prostitution look like a viable alternative. Despite the fact I'd earn less money than a one legged, facially disfigured hooker with enough STD's to keep a science lab at work for a few years. The bar I'm working in, and don't bother asking the name of the place as I have been down that road before and know for sure that I could be sacked for airing my views on here, is populated by the type of people that could appear in Shameless and not seem even slightly out of place. So what else is there that I can do to earn enough money to live? Well, I could go back to...

I just read an article on t'internet that started with that horribly personal insult. Don't ask me for the link as I was so incensed I rapidly had to go and look at some porn to re instill my faith in the fairer sex. That's a joke ladies... I'm all for feminism, women's lib and equality of the sexes. After all, you deserve it, don't you, you pretty little things. Anyhoo... What's wrong with being over 35 and single? I'll tell you what... The horrible aching hollow you feel in the heart when you pull cold covers over your body at night... The nights of lonesomeness weeping into a Kleenex after watching a pirate copy of the new Sex and the City movie... The female friends setting you up with friends who have a reputation for being "Easy*" and that's not to mention the piles of invites to trendy art galleries where your city friends ply their trade and give you free champers. That's my life right there. Aye right... Is... It... Fuck... Th...

I can get back into work mode and let all those poor unfortunate fuckers that are rotting away in A4E how to get the hell out of there and do something more productive. So, how do you get yourself out of A4E? Simple. Just get up and walk on out the door. That's all there is to it. And how is this possible? Well, allow me to explain. Firstly A4E is not a government program that must be attended in order to get benefits. It's basically a way for the government to fiddle the books on the number of unemployed. I was sent to A4E by the benefits office (And actually attended several times before I decided that I had had enough of the horseshit that was involved in doing so.) as I had been unemployed for more than six months. And this is where the government fiddle comes into play. You know all the reports that the government likes to shove in the direction of the news agencies? (I'm assuming you do or you wouldn't be reading this.) Well they're all bullshit. That's r...