What a Cnut.

Can come in many guises. People can inspire you to be better than the masses, books can inspire you and music can also inspire you. So my question for today is... "What has inspired you? In the name of fairness I shall list the things that have inspired me. People... Bill Hicks. A comedic giant who never once shirked away from letting his audiences into his deepest, darkest inner thoughts. Bill Hicks inspired me not to kowtow to other peoples ideas of what is right and wrong to talk about. No subject should ever be taboo, silence will only ever make the subject in hand develop into something that it never was in the first place. Martin Luther King. Martin Luther King should have been the first black president of the United States of America. Had he not been assassinated MLK would have united the people to create a fairer place for people of all races. His seminal "I have a Dream"speech is an inspiration to me whenever I listen to it. One day I hope to see MLK's dream...

So the current season of Dr Who is coming to an end with a two part episode which sees Rose and the Dr reunited along with the rest of the Whooby Gang in a battle to save earth from the nasty clutches of long time enemy Davros and his Daleks. The question that hangs in my head, apart from the obvious one of "How did everyone manage to get a signal on their mobile phone when the Earth had been transported several light years from its original position?" [1][2] is, who will be the new Who? I have sent a message to the families resident whovian [5] and asked if he knows and will report back as soon as he replies. Until then, stay tuned... [1] I can't get a signal in my living room and yet all and sundry manages to get one when the earth is whooshed across the galaxy. [2] Some geek will probably attempt to shoot me down in flames by saying that The Dr has modified the phones [3] so they can be used without needing a satellite to bounce off of.[4] [3] In which case I say thi...

I can get back into work mode and let all those poor unfortunate fuckers that are rotting away in A4E how to get the hell out of there and do something more productive. So, how do you get yourself out of A4E? Simple. Just get up and walk on out the door. That's all there is to it. And how is this possible? Well, allow me to explain. Firstly A4E is not a government program that must be attended in order to get benefits. It's basically a way for the government to fiddle the books on the number of unemployed. I was sent to A4E by the benefits office (And actually attended several times before I decided that I had had enough of the horseshit that was involved in doing so.) as I had been unemployed for more than six months. And this is where the government fiddle comes into play. You know all the reports that the government likes to shove in the direction of the news agencies? (I'm assuming you do or you wouldn't be reading this.) Well they're all bullshit. That's r...

4:16am It's only me, the snails and an urban fox that are wandering the pathways. Early dawn light filters through the low cloud base and teases at the shadows of houses filled with sleeping people. Children lie in their beds sleeping the sleep of the innocent and parents sleep sound in the knowledge that their progeny are safe from the horrors of the world. My mind is empty yet there is something on my mind. Thus the reason I wander the streets with my cigarettes, my thoughts and the company of early morning songbirds. I consider calling someone to talk but the only people awake at this time are in far off lands where the day is already half done. These people are in the wrong frame of mind to deal with me and my baggage so I forget the idea and continue walking. The 24 hour garage offers an oasis where I can get a drink but the doors are locked to prevent robberies. "No customer admittance between the hours of 1am and 7am" A sign on the door reads. I try the door, a fu...

Rach for pointing me in the direction of playlist.com . My playlist page can be seen by clicking here .

"May the forces of evil become distracted on the way to your house." George Carlin. Wherever you are man, I hope it's better than here. But not too nice because then you'd have nothing to complain about. And that'd be a cunt of a place for you.

That's me got myself into the Edinburgh Evening news again in their "High 5" section. According to my man at the news it's where "Edinburgh residents with some kind of standing list their five favourite things in Edinburgh." Would you believe it? I have some kind of standing! It's my choice of five great places in Edinburgh. To see them click here.

Visit the man behind it all.

Small video of some of the pictures from Florida. Adblock Hope you enjoy it.

"When the time is ready I shall send my only son to the earth to show them how to laugh." The Grand Whazoo.* *************************************** And lo it came to pass that The Grand Whazoo did send his only son to earth. And you can join him in his quest to make the world giggle by joining him by clicking here . *************************************** Family Friendly. No service charge. Tuesday is ladies night. Special drinks promotions all week. Happy hour all day. Students of philosophy welcome. Biker friendly. No Scientists. Please tip your waitress. *************************************** *During an acceptance speech for "Best god in a humourous role" award during the realm of gods, deitys and martyrs awards ceremony held at the Valhalla Holiday Inn. ** **(Tell them Marty sent you for a special reduction in rates.)

At least two Moto GP races due to my holiday in Florida, I'm really looking forwards to this weekends race at Donnington Park. As always Valentino Rossi is one of the favorites to win the race but fellow riders such as Casey Stoner and Dani Pedrosa will be doing their level best to deny Rossi another top step on the podium at his adopted home race. In a British GP the weather can play an unexpected role. Should the heavens open and a torrent of rain be let loose on the track wet weather demons Chris Vermuelen and Randy De Puniet could be a threat.

George W Bush did this kind of thing.

I'm back. So, that's the holiday over and I'm back in Edinburgh. I was welcomed home by a pile of brown envelopes and enough junk mail to prevent me from opening my front door fully without resorting to a hefty kick. The brown envelopes are mostly from companies demanding money of some sort but they can kiss my rusty sheriffs badge until I can pay it. Fuck 'em if they don't like it. I'm currently under the effects of jet lag which despite my propensity for lying in my bed all day isn't as much fun as it should be. A long lie in bed should be exactly that, a long lie, not some kind of weird inability to sleep until 9am and passing out like a squaddie on parade in 1oo° heat and waking up five hours later with a mouth so dry there are cacti growing on it. Today I'll be mostly spending my time uploading the pictures from the holiday to mediafire so all you lot can look at them and think "Look, random people in sunshine." or whatever the hell it is ...

Dr Gonzo. From an original drawing by Ralph Steadman . Ink work by InkInk tattoo parlour Orlando.

We'd stopped to fill up the cars as we drove from Tampa to Miami . My sister was driving one car and my dad was driving the other. I'd been designated gas monkey so I filled the car that my dad was in and then began to fill the other car. Sarah rolled down the window of the car and began speaking in a redneck accent. "If'n y'all clean ma windshield I'mma gonna give y'all a dollah." She said. "A whole dollah? Why I'd do damn neah anythang for a dollah missy." I replied. "Well if'n y'all clean ma windshield wif yo boobs I'mma give you five dollahs and if you jump up on heah and clean ma windshield wif yo ass I'mma gonna give y'all ten dollahs." From there on in it continued... "Hoo-eee missy. I'd like to introduce y'all to ma wife and sistah. That's her right over theah." "Mah little girl is so talented, she can sing real good out both her mouths." "I got's me three kids...

the masses from ever discovering that the politicos are busy selling the future down the river. Short bursts of programming, interspersed with quick fire advert breaks, make up the majority of American TV. Because of this the average American seems to me to have the attention span of a dead goldfish and the intelligence to match. A couple of days ago we stayed in a motel at cocoa beach where, due to an excessive consumption of Myers's dark rum , I got to talking to one. Firstly he started on the "Rag heads" then moved on to "Slopes" and finished with a rousing double barrelled denouncement of the "Camel Jockeys" and "Niggers." It took me all my time not to let loose with a volley of insults but for all I knew he may have had easy access to a firearm and may have taken things the wrong way. My shock at the lack of respect for any race, colour or creed led me to think that we had inadvertently stumbled into Cracker Central. Things like this c...

Rocket Engine. Command Module. The Obelisk. (What this has to do with NASA is beyond me.) A video display about Mars. Space Shuttle replica. Rocket. Space Shuttle and Rocket Boosters. NASA Badge. Command Module. Model of Rocket. JFK NASA building. Another Rocket.

American TV. I'm sitting in the Villa watching TV. The women have gone shopping and my old man, my brother and the boys have gone to play tennis at the clubhouse. Advertisment break. Have you tried the all new and improved Gatorade? Containing hydrocyclotenes, to provide you with all the valuable nutrients your body needs, the all new Gatorade comes in three flavours and is available at your local store. If your local store does not stock the all new gatorade call 1-800 GETNEWGATOR. Back to regular programing. Last night we took a trip to Seaworld for a couple of hours where I got to ride Kraken for the first time. Sheikra at Busch Gardens seemed to me like it would be hard to top but I was wrong. Kraken in Seaworld was ten times as much fun. Tonight we're going back for a few hours and I'll be attempting to ride Kraken as many times as possible. I managed four times last night and hope to get twice as many tonight.

There are some things you may only get one chance in your life to do. Seeing a shuttle launch is one of those things. Been there, done that. Honestly, there really aren't the words to describe the sight of a shuttle blasting towards space at a speed that you truly cannot comprehend. We've all broken the speed limit on occasion. Many of us have even strayed into triple digits on occasion and have pushed the boundaries of both sense and state troopers. But very few of us have opened the throttle on a machine capable of producing enough thrust to break free of the earth and go directly vertical for 50 miles in less time than it takes to say "Holy Jeebus, would you look at the god-damned speed of that thing." Image (c) NASA .