God damn my body...

Some people treat their body like a temple. I see mine as more of a funfair.

Having just gotten over a chest infection, that I suspect may have actually been pneumonia, I now have a pulled muscle in my chest causing me some pain whenever I breathe or cough... I breathe as a matter of course; I smoke too much and have asthma, so I cough quite frequently...

At least I'm hoping it's only a pulled muscle. There is the deep seated paranoid fear in my head that it's a coronary building up to the point where my heart explodes out of me like a stinger missile, or lung cancer. But that's just paranoia. I hope.

I'd go to the doctor but after the debacle of yesterday, when I called to try to get an appointment sometime before hell freezes over, this will not happen in the immediate future so I'll suffer the stabbing pains and wait for either my chest to get better or for the upcoming stroke to strike and hurl me violently into the big sleep.

But these are the things that keep us on our toes. Or our backs.

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Now playing: The Clash - London's Burning

Every year it's the same...

Around about the time the weather in Scotland turns cold my chest decides that I don't appreciate the ability to breathe as much as I should and gives me a stinking chest infection.

Green lumps of phlegm are lodged in the top of my lungs, my chest begins to feel like someone has set about it with a brillo pad and industrial bleach, the hair on my head hurts, I daren't shave, my head pounds like I'd been out on the randan and I'm sweating like an inexperienced drug mule on his way through customs with enough illegal drugs up his jacksie to make Amy Winehouse, Pete Docherty and Courtney Love pass out through sheer joy.

At these times it is best for all if I do not venture out the house as my patience is seriously limited and I am easily annoyed. So for today, and the rest of the weekend, I shall be taking to my bed with a bottle of cough mixture and a bucket to hawk my lugies into.

*Update*

It's now a good twelve hours later... My joints have begun to ache like I am a 70 year old man, my voice is starting to sound like I have no voicebox and the normally amazing Dr Solpadeine isn't having the effect I had hoped for.