What a Cnut.

About a nice cool shower on a muggy day. I'm sitting here with The Beatles gently plucking their way through Blackbird , the sun is sinking low in the sky, shafts of sunlight are slicing their way through the clouds and making their way towards the ground like stairways to The Other Place. " Blackbird singing in the dead of night, take these broken wings and learn to fly, all your life you were only waiting for this moment to arrive ." There's a joint in the ashtray, the blue smoke dancing in the slight breeze coming from the open window and an inner peace settles over me. I look to the picture I took of Abbey Road on my mantelpiece and drift into the song. All is calm in the Kingdom of the Grand Whazoo. The music changes to Snow Patrol's lament How to be Dead . "Baby let me explain something, it's all down to drugs. At least I remember taking them and not a lot else ." The thought strikes me that this line could describe me. Then the paranoid though...

All I know is that I did. Here I am again sat in front of the computer cursing my luck. Why? You ask. Well, it's cos I've fucked my back somehow. All I did was bend over to pick up a pair of my boxer shorts I'd dumped previous to getting in the shower this morning from the bathroom floor. Perhaps this is a sign that I'm getting old... I hope not.

Ups and downs, highs and lows, ins and outs (if you're lucky) and peaks and troughs. I've been in a bit of a trough for the last month or so with my writing. And to be honest I've got no idea why. It's not as if I've sunk into some kind of depression (I can spot a depression induced slump a mile off.) so there really is no rational reason why my mind should choose to dry up quicker than moisturising cream on the face of a pensioner. Part of the blame may be attributable my dreams. Lately my dreams have been very "emotionally involving." For the past two weeks the lasting memory I have when I awake is of an old love saying "I can't come with you. That's not my world." Very strange if you ask me. But that's probably not a good idea. Asking me anything is always guaranteed to elicit a reply tha would make a lunatic consider a new life-path. Truthfully I have no idea what's causing it.

That good friends are hard to come by. This is plainly a load of shite. Good friends are easy to come by. Take my friend Lyndsay "With an I" Broon. She's funny, intelligent, engaging, open-minded, free spirited and ever so slightly deviant. Just the way I like my friends to be... Today Lyndsay and I met up for lunch at Negs where we spent an hour or so discussing many varied (and at times downright fucked up) subjects. She's no longer an employee of the club I used to work for as she was sick of being sexually harassed by committee members and pervert punters so we had a right good go at the swines for being morons who are hell bent on alienating their staff. After a while the subject was dropped and our conversation strayed onto the subject of sex. Specifically, why she seems to get it so easy and why I haven't fucked anything with a pulse in the last 7 years. ...Jeebus, has it really been that long? Doesn't time fly when you're a hopeless romantic who ca...

Drinking too much to knock hell out of your body. I found this out (Again...) on Saturday morning after spending almost £80 on alcohol at Gorgie Mills Bowling Club on Friday night. (Four 35ml spirits and accompanying mixers was less than £5 so I know I must have tanked a fair old amount of booze during the evening.) The reason for my darkening the doorstep of a bowling club was that it was Jenny's sister Gill's 30th birthday and I'd been invited along. I did give give serious consideration to not going as I was afraid that I'd be spotted by members of my former workplace and they'd hound me out the building and chase me down the street for having the gall to say that the place was run in a less than efficient manner. I was under strict instructions from Jenny that if I didn't show my life wouldn't be worth living if I let her down so I popped on my finest Hawaiian shirt and off I went. Gill looked stunning (As she always does... I've fancied her ever si...