What a Cnut.

Edinburgh hosts the largest New Year party in the world. Over a million people flock to Edinburgh during the four day event and having been one of the million in my younger years I have to tell you that if you've never been a visitor to this fair city you should make the effort to be one before you die. After you've died is a waste of time. You won't enjoy it half as much. In the centre of town the streets are closed off, stages are erected, fireworks are placed and ready to go and the whole of town becomes party central. Outside the centre of town it's a different matter... Gangs of pissed up youths wander the streets like feral dogs, strange bearded weirdys who speak in guttural grunts stagger and sway along the footpaths and kids on minimotos terrorise anyone stupid enough to venture out the house. Strangely enough though this makes for a fine and high setting for house parties. It's pretty much a guarantee that you'll meet colourful people who will give you ...

Love thine enemy. Right now it's hard to love my enemy as it has laid me low for the entire day. It's all Jenny's fault, honestly. I had nothing to do with it. I had intended on staying home last night where I had a very nice evening in front of the fire planned doing the things I love... Playing the Xbox, reading, writing, having a nice long soak in the bath, torturing kittens and wanking off. [1] But it would seem that the Grand Whazoo disagreed with my grand scheme and decided that Jenny was to throw a party and that I was to attend. So at about five o'clock I had a bath, a shave and made myself look handsome. I chose a very nice, but understated, ensemble of jeans, comedy T-Shirt, my new No Fear jacket my sister got me for Christmas and my trainers. About an hour and a half later I was headed for Kirknewton (twin town Brigadoon) in my mates car as he agreed to drop me off for a few quid in petrol money and enough for a deck of cigarettes. Arriving at the party I re...

Drinking too much to knock hell out of your body. I found this out (Again...) on Saturday morning after spending almost £80 on alcohol at Gorgie Mills Bowling Club on Friday night. (Four 35ml spirits and accompanying mixers was less than £5 so I know I must have tanked a fair old amount of booze during the evening.) The reason for my darkening the doorstep of a bowling club was that it was Jenny's sister Gill's 30th birthday and I'd been invited along. I did give give serious consideration to not going as I was afraid that I'd be spotted by members of my former workplace and they'd hound me out the building and chase me down the street for having the gall to say that the place was run in a less than efficient manner. I was under strict instructions from Jenny that if I didn't show my life wouldn't be worth living if I let her down so I popped on my finest Hawaiian shirt and off I went. Gill looked stunning (As she always does... I've fancied her ever si...