What a Cnut.

The moment . But not fully. The regret merely fades into the background noise of my mind to rear up another time on another day to dump itself into my mind and kick the living hell out of my heart. Selah, so it goes... Sometimes. There are times when the regret monster decides to stick around and make all my waking hours a walking nightmare. On these days it's best if I stay in my bed and don't journey out of the house just in case I see someone who bears a passing resemblance to a past love and the regret monster asks me the question... "Is that Her?" Fuck the regret monster! It does not control me. It merely serves to remind me of the the beautiful things I have had in my life. Even if these things are gone now, never to be regained I can still remember moments that make me smile and lift my spirits. Times like; Feeling Claire's lips upon mine, seeing Katy smile, the way Jen walked and tickling Karen at the base of her spine. "Who are these people? He's...

I stumbled across a box filled with the accumulated guff of my life. Poetry I'd written many moons ago and photographs I'd taken at least 10 years ago stared up at me from the box. One picture in particular caught my eye. It was a Polaroid of my ex girlfriend Jen and I that was taken not long before we split up. As I stared at the picture in front of me a thought passed through my mind. "She was the one you should have married." It said. I remember my mum telling me this once but until I saw Jen's picture again I had never given any credence to the idea. Now though? It certainly sounds like the truth. At this time , in this moment it does anyhow. Wherever you are Jen I wish you naught but happiness in your heart, love in your life and joy in your soul. Smile hun, it could be worse... You could be me.

For those of you who think Dr Who is the dogs scrotum I advise you to check out this site and grab yourself some nice remixes of the Dr Who theme tune.

In the spirit of change I've decided to give this blog a bit of an overhaul. Now all I need is something to write about... Any suggestions would be welcomed.

Oh Boy... I'm wondering if I should join in the debate . Better not huh? There may be forces watching me that would wish to sue me. Trust me, from here on in I will not be making any comments about the tribunal I went to. Here endeth the speech on that gig.

This blog hasn't been updated as regularly as usual. Apologies to all my faithful... and not so faithful... readers. Normal service will be resumed as soon as possible.

Other peoples ringtones? I do. Especially when they're not at all fun like mine. "We are the knights who say Ni! We shall say Ni again to you if you do not appease us.... Ni...Ni." (Monty Python.) "We are now the knights who say Ecky Ecky EckyPhatangnzootboingnzowie... Ni." (More Monty Python.) "How much for the little girl? The women, how much for the women?" (John Belushi/Jake Blues.) A 34 second soundclip of the Tardis in flight. (Nice long soundclip of the Tardis engine noise.) Sam Kinison's scream. (Quite short and good for a repeating sound.) "Good Morning Vietnam!" (Robin Williams classic revelry call.) "There's a message for you." HAL from the Motion Picture 2001 Feel free to grab a copy should you feel so inclined. Files hosted by Mediafire.com .

For my murdering the Easter Bunny I decided to take an hour out of my life today to do something positive. I didn't do much but I did potentially save a life. And how did I do this? I gave blood.

I have removed a post I wrote last week. Apologies if you were one of the people who left a comment but apparently writing your own opinion (Which I believe we are all entitled to) on your own blog can lead to you being sued. To finish I'd like to make the following statement... If you don't like what I write, or my opinions, STOP READING MY BLOG.

I awoke this morning to the sound of birds twittering in the early morning light. I scratched my balls, stretched my arms, rolled out of bed and took a look out the window to see what kind of day it was. The sun was rising over the top of the buildings behind mine and the low clouds looked like they would burn off soon enough. As I glanced downwards into my back garden I saw what seemed to be a giant bunny rabbit carrying a basket of chocolate eggs. I rubbed my eyes, fearing that I was still stoned from the massive hashish bender I had went on the previous night, and looked again. Sure enough there was a large white rabbit attempting to climb the fence leading from my garden into my neighbours garden. I pulled open the window and leaned out. "OI! Thumper, what the fuck do you think you're playing at?" I yelled. The rabbit looked up at me and doubled it's effort to scale the fence. (Not an easy job when you're a six foot bunny rabbit wearing a frilly bonnet and mat...

Over the last month or so I've been getting a lot of hits from people searching for how to make a mobile ringtone from an mp3 file. Here's how to do it. What you'll need. Koyote Software's Free MP3-WMA converter. (Available by clicking here .) Windows Sound Recorder. (Or similar sound editor software.) Step 1. Install Koyote Software MP3-WMA converter. Step 2. Start Koyote Software MP3-WMA Converter. Step 3. Add the MP3 file of your choice to Koyote Converter. Step 4. Change the Output Path to your desktop and the Output Format to Wav. Click CONVERT. Step 5. Koyote Converter will then convert the MP3 sound to a Wav sound. Step 6. Close Koyote Converter and open Sound Recorder. Open the newly created Wav file using Sound Recorder. Step 7. Edit the Wav file by using the Delete Before/After Current Position button. Step 8. Save your newly cropped file and exit Sound Recorder. Step 9. Open Koyote Converter and add the cropped Wav sound file to the converter. Step 10. C...

For yours truly. Tomorrow I've got to phone my lawyer, then I'm off to my sisters to have dinner and see the kids, this will be followed by a small stop-off at my brothers to pick up a disk I need to fix a computer. Finally I've got to go round to my friends to attempt to fix the aforementioned computer. On Tuesday I'm job hunting with a vengeance as I've only got £50 ($25) to last me a fortnight and there is a £40 phone bill and a £150 electricity bill sitting on my desk staring at me. (The shortage of cash is my main problem as it may be that I have to pack in the cigarettes... Please Lord don't let it be so, if I quit smoking I'll turn into a total rageaholic and may take to another (cheaper) vice to suppress my anger at the world around me such as Lighter Fuel, Sniffing Glue or the good old fashioned Brasso mixed with milk...) Wednesday and Thursday will see me wearing a shirt and, possibly, a tie as those are the days I really don't want to tempt fa...

Because Google is offering free wireless broadband .