Love thine enemy.
Right now it's hard to love my enemy as it has laid me low for the entire day. It's all Jenny's fault, honestly. I had nothing to do with it. I had intended on staying home last night where I had a very nice evening in front of the fire planned doing the things I love... Playing the Xbox, reading, writing, having a nice long soak in the bath, torturing kittens and wanking off.[1]
But it would seem that the Grand Whazoo disagreed with my grand scheme and decided that Jenny was to throw a party and that I was to attend. So at about five o'clock I had a bath, a shave and made myself look handsome. I chose a very nice, but understated, ensemble of jeans, comedy T-Shirt, my new No Fear jacket my sister got me for Christmas and my trainers.
About an hour and a half later I was headed for Kirknewton (twin town Brigadoon) in my mates car as he agreed to drop me off for a few quid in petrol money and enough for a deck of cigarettes.
Arriving at the party I realised that I was the last person to arrive and everyone was in quite the party mood (drunk) and subsequently had some catching up to do. Cue me getting a hold of a pint glass, half filling it with rum, topping it off with coke and necking half of it in one gulp.
I then spent about a half an hour chatting to all the old faces that I hadn't seen since my departure from behind the bar where they play marbles.[2] More drink was had and I steadily worked my way through the bottle of rum I had brought with me.
At about four or five in the morning (my memory is hazy) a taxi was called and I headed home to the warmth and comfort of my bed.
Strangely enough, despite the fact I had a bottle of rum in my system, I managed to have the presence of mind to fill a bottle of water, drop in four soluble solpadine and place it next to my bed for whenever I surfaced from the depths of my dreams. And thank god I did. I woke up at four pm with a head like the Rolling Stones had had an aftershow party in it and my mouth was drier than a welsh comedians favorite joke.
[1] One of these statements is not true, can you guess which one? Answer in comments if you can be bothered.
[2] They call it bowls but I stand by my judgement.
1 comment:
tonight I will watch horror movies until I'm too paranoid to go outside to smoke cigarettes in the cold, I'll likely drink juice and soda mixed without alcohol and I'll peacefully fade from one year to the next counting off the days of being married along with the days of all the other things I question in my life...
what I will not do is remember to have hydration and painkillers beside my bed. instead I will wake, feel ancient and stumble to the toilet to find my waterbottle half full from the night before, fill it, and then empty my bladder whilst drinking the newly aquired hydration.
pretty pathetic, huh?
I should come to Edinburgh next year for New Year's Eve... have an excuse to be really drunk.
I'm guessing you'll be repeating some love of thine enemy this evening, then?
Enjoy... I have work and then will go through the aforementioned ritual. It seems to work for me. Tonight is the one night of the year I scare the bejeezus out of myself... it is coincidentally my wedding anniversary... somewhere a settee psychologist is smelling the start of a lucrative carreer... *lol*
and it's the wanking you choose not to do, yes? *tease*
be well, Ross.
xxoo
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