I hereby formally declare...

That I [and any property in which I reside] is now [and in perpetuity] an independent, autonomous region governed by me [and no-one else].

With that I'm now totally independent from the crown of the United Kingdom. The power will not go to my head, I promise. And if you think at any point I'm being overly dictatorial, well, fuck you, I'm in charge. You don't like it? Tough. I'm the daddy.

Now that I'm the head of an autonomous region I can pass laws. Firstly, all drugs are legal within my borders. (This is generally accepted by the international community as my house [and its airspace] from the front door to the outer limit of my windows.)

And before you think that the power of a country [and/or independent region] should be split amongst the populace I'd like to state categorically that I am not an outright dictator. I [and my advisory committee] are working together to gather a cabinet of ministers to ensure things don't get out of hand.

The first Minister to be officially appointed is Minister for the Arts, Mr Frank Zappa.

Second on the list of Ministers is the Minister for Education, Mr Albert Einstein.

Thirdly I would like to offer the post of Minister for Sport to George Best.

Minister for Transport is (providing he agrees by not writing to refuse the position) Mr James Dean.

Minister for health is being offered to Dr Harold Shipman. (It's a scare them straight program.)

The post of Minister for Social Development is to be offered to the Reverend Jim Jones. (Once again it's part of my scared straight program.)

For those of you who have noticed the underlying trend in the appointments, in that every one on it is dead, I would like to point out that these people are in their positions because I will not be outvoted or ousted from my position of head honcho. (This is an experiment in Democratic Dictatorship.)

The law for the appointment of ministers goes like this...

We the people [and or person] of the Independent Republic of Rossidonia hereby state that any [with the exception of the head honcho] appointed officials are to be no longer of this realm. [I.E Deader than flared jeans with patches on the knees.]

And the reason for this? Well, I've had quite enough of the UK Government making grandiose speeches proclaiming "Liberty and justice for all" but never actually doing anything to ensure these things. So I'm breaking away from the UK and declaring myself an independent sovereignty.

Lets face it, if it's good enough for places like Georgia, Macedonia and Bosnia Herzegovina (All of which are nothing more then half a dozen farmers in fields with pitchforks) it's good enough for me. Besides, I have the Church of The Grand Whazoo on my side.