When standing behind the bar at work, I'd say that the people who frequent the place are more often than not brainless idiots...
It's been about three weeks since I started my new job and without fail whenever a new face (new to me anyway) comes in the most popular question is "What football team do you support?"[1] To me this suggests one of two things. Either A.) They are brain-dead. Or B.) They are mindless idiots who measure a man, not by his deeds or his actions, but by which colour the overpaid Prima Donnas kick an inflated pigs bladder around a field he supports wears.[2]
Both of these things are not good. Not good in the extreme if you ask me. I mean what kind of retard judges a man based solely on the football team he supports? Yes, you got it, the kind that likes to drink heavily, watch football and beats the shit out his girlfriend on a regular basis. In other words, my customers.
Seriously, what is the mindset of someone who will come to a judgement on someone based on whether or not he follows the fortunes of the same football team as he supports? To me that's as moronic as it can possibly get. It's akin to judging someone by the amount of sugar they take in their tea, if they prefer cheese or pickle on their sandwiches or whether they like cheese flavoured Doritos or cool original flavoured.
So what, I hear you ask, is my answer?
Well, I don't support a football team because football is as interesting to me as shoving a cocktail umbrella into the urethra of my penis and seeing if I can open it. In other words, it's not high on my list of things to do. In fact I would say that shoving a cocktail umbrella into my urethra is way above joining the herds of football fans on the planet because I don't want to lower my intelligence to that of a retarded monkey who suffers from down syndrome.
[1] Football as in Soccer.
[2] I've come to the conclusion it's a combination of both.
3 comments:
What if you are a girl and support La Liga? Although I have to admit, I didn't start watching football until I lived in Ecuador and they started winning and everyone started a national craze. I really hope they don't have to play Manchester United in their game but I do promise not to go into your bar and ask you what team you support. I imagine it is their "safe" way of breaking the ice and relating to the rest of the world because they don't really have anything else.
(However, if we are talking about baseball and you tell me you're a Yankees fan, we can no longer be friends.)
Cupcake,
The problem isn't that they appreciate football, it's that it is the thing that runs their lives. One guy, and I'm not kidding, refused to shake my hand just because I told him I used to support one of "the other" teams.
I myself have been known to watch football, and have even been known to whoop it up like a good ol boy when the team I'm watching wins some cup or pennant or whatever, and think that a game of football played with skill and flair is a wonderful thing to watch.
And why oh why would you think I was a fan of the Evil Empire? Persoanlly I lean towards the Indians and the Red Sox.
(I guess if I was pressed for a definitive answer I'd have to say I'm a Sox fan. I only like the tribe because the mascot Jo Boo's son is a personal friend of mine.)
http://www.bebo.com/JoB487
I guess that's the type of people that hang in bars. I'm not saying they are all morons but I guess that your chances of finding morons is higher in a bar.
Post a Comment