One of the advantages of having a chest infection is the opportunity to make the edges of your vision blur through the ingestion of powerful cough medicines.
So today I took a wander along to the local chemist where I bought a bottle of the strongest linctus I could lay my hands on without a prescription from a Doctor. After a few questions from the pharmacist about what kind of cough I had, (My answer; Cough, Hack, Cough, Hack, Wheeze, Turn red in the face, Curse loudly, "That kind.") I was sold a bottle of Meltus for chesty coughs.
I staggered homeward and retired back to the bosom of my warm bed to attempt to knock this chest infection into touch. As I perused the directions on the box I noticed that it didn't say anything about not exceeding the dose. This I took to mean "Drink the whole damn thing."
So I popped the box open, unscrewed the cap of the bottle and knocked back the contents in one feel swoop, despite the fact that it tasted exactly like I would expect if I were to suck the toes of someone who has a very bad case of athletes foot.
Within seconds I felt the guff in my chest loosen and I hacked up a lump of grey phlegm that I could have played with like a lump of silly putty if I felt so inclined. A few minutes later, as I settled into my bed, I felt the familiar drowsy feeling normally associated with having had a couple of stiff rums.
I reread the box and noticed that the ingredients contained alcohol. "Even better, not only will this stuff knock my chest infection on the head, it'll get me tipsy." I thought as my vision began to blur slightly.
Within half an hour later I was sleeping the sleep of a baby and didn't awake until 12 hours later.
4 comments:
Was it 12 hours - or 12 years? Are you sure you still in the same place where you nodded off? Aren't those curtains lokking - well, different? And what's that grey stuff on your head? Dry phlem, or grey hair? Methinks, maybe, you are confused?
Salagatle!
Buy Rum it is cheaper!
Ross,
I believe Gee's Linctus is pretty good...as is Benylin for chesty coughs. I know when I used to work in a large chain chemist store we had certain customers that we could NOT supply the stuff to, the fact that they were asking for three bottles at a time was a clue to their problem...just don't overdose too often will you?
Max,
Injesting chemical compounds in large doses is a talent I have.
Fishman,
Maybe where you come from Rum is cheaper but here it's different. Welcome to the blog btw.
H,
Overdose? Moi? No chance, I'm a professional.
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