"...Ho, big man, gonnae sell us a fag?" The voice said.
I looked up from my book and saw a hooded hoodlum hovering half a foot away.
"I'll give you one, I'm fucked if I'm dying alone." I replied, reaching into my pocket for my cigarettes.
I pulled out a couple of cigarettes and handed them to the inquisitor.
"Do yeh smoke hash? I wuz gonnae give yeh a bit for the fags like." The guy offered.
"No man, that shit'll kill you... Got any crack?" I replied.
"..." Said the guy. "...Erm, uh...Erm." He stammered, looking totally baffled.
"I was pulling your leg mate." I said.
"I can get yeh some if you want it man. I know a man that can, so to say." He said, in a lower tone of voice than he had previously used. He looked as shady as an early dickens character as it was humanly possible.
"No man, it's cool. I was just making a joke." I said.
"Oh, right then. See you later then mate." He said, turning and walking into the store behind where I was standing.
I finished my cigarette and flicked it into the gutter. With any luck one of the environmental wardens would show up and I'd get to lose some tension by ranting at him how he should be writing tickets for the global corporations that poison our planet on a scale my cigarette didn't even come close to. But sadly there were no yellow jacketed jerk offs around so I walked into the A4E building.
Five minutes later I was searching for jobs while pondering what had caused me to be in this place. Then I remembered. It was because I'd been sacked for writing. I still couldn't figure out what it was that had been the straw that broke the camels back when it came to the uberdopplegruppenfuhrer deciding I should have my employment terminated.
As I searched through job title after job title that aroused my interests as much as a nude picture of Anne Widdicome, I heard a voice behind me. It was the same voice that the cigarette cajoler had used. For the rest of the day I had a new friend.
I mean, what the fuck am I? Some kind of idiot magnet?
4 comments:
http://www.jimbospinach.blogspot.com/
*lol*
thanks. now I'll really go away... no point in being obsessive or anything.
Yes, it is good music. I don't think you're an idiot magnet. I don't know if you're aware of this or not...but people who stand outside of any public facility and smoke, really have a huge, bright neon sign flashing over their heads that says; "Please, ask me for a smoke. I am obviously gainfully employed and can therefor fleetingly give away all my cigarettes to miscreants who refuse to get a damned job."
Not only if your writing viscerally funny (Unless it's tragedy and my timing is way off) it's deceptively poignant and hauntingly real.
That's the first time anyone has told me what the neon sign above my head says. The irony of it is that the building I was smoking outside of is a government funded gig to get this miscreant who refuses to work into a job.
told you she'd come around... *lol*
hi insertphilosophicalstatementhere, now just looking for semi-limited perspective vortex and it's a party.
sleep well, all...
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