The alien spoke again. "Donut be all fried."
"Pardon me?" Said Johnny, unsure of what the alien meant.
"Dew night be a frayed" Said the alien, wondering why Johnny was having problems understanding his own language.
(This had happened before while the alien was attempting to communicate with a new Planet. All kinds of mayhem had been brought about by the alien after it had visited a planet in the Two Suns Solar System and had mispronounced the words for "I come in peace" and had ended up saying "I am here to make you into small parts."
The Alien remembered being brought in front of the council when it had returned to its home planet and being questioned as to how a simple L & I (land and introduce) had ended up with the destruction of twenty-three planets after a war that lasted a thousand years.)
"Do you mean, do not be afraid?" Said Johnny, interrupting the aliens train of thought.
"Yarse. Do not be afraid." Replied the alien, remembering to stick to the methods of introduction course it had been forced to learn in the L & I re-education class.
"OK then." Said Johnny.
"I have want of assistance to bring my craft level." Said the alien, as it looked at its ship.
"I can go and get my mom to call the rescue truck man if you want." Said Johnny.
"Negative."
"It wouldn't take long, my house isn't far away and I don't think my mom will mind."
"Negative. I have stretched hor dourves to follow." Said the alien, totally confusing Johnny.
"I don't understand." Said Johnny.
"I am under guidance from my superior."
"You mean strict orders" Johnny said, having realized what it was that the alien meant.
"Yarse, Strict Orders."
Johnny looked at the spaceship and wondered how only two people, actually one 8 year old and an alien, could possibly turn a spaceship the right way up. "We'll never manage to turn it the right way up, it's too big for us to lift." He said, as he turned around to see the alien was attempting to scramble up the smooth surface of the ramp it had landed on when it fell out of the ship and landed at Johnnys feet.
The alien managed to get halfway up the ramp but then slid back down and landed in a crumpled heap at Johnnys feet. Again. "Snargle-flaggle-shood." Said the alien as it picked itself up.
"It looks like your feet can't get a grip on the ramp. I've got good grips on my shoes, would you like me to try?" Offered Johnny.
"Yarse." Said the alien.
"You mean, yes." Said Johnny.
"Affirmative. I mean yes."
"OK then." Said Johnny taking a few steps back from the bottom of the ramp so he could get a run at it.
Johnny ran as fast as he could and ran up the slope of the ramp. Just as he began to feel his feet slipping on the slick surface of the ramp he threw himself head first into the spaceship and grabbed a lever that was sticking out of the wall of the craft.
"Shood." Said the alien, as it realized that Johnny had accidentally grabbed the correct lever to set the spaceship right way up again. Unfortunately Johnny hadn't pushed the anti gravity button first and with a loud WHOOSH the spaceship flipped over and Johnny was thrown around the ship like a doll in a washing machine.
Johnny screamed as the spaceship righted itself and hit his head for a second time that day.
The spaceships computer scanned the surrounding area and landed gently. A set of steps hissed out of the side of the ship and the alien walked up them to find Johnny rubbing his head and complaining.
"You could have told me that was going to happen." Said Johnny.
The alien ignored Johnny and walked towards one of the walls. The alien lifted its hand and waved it at the wall. A small light flicked to life on the wall and a picture of Johnny appeared. "Gee-bonity-screed" Said the alien.
A small robotic arm dropped from the roof of the craft in front of Johnny and a green light beam began to flash on and off. After a few seconds there was a small bleep and the alien pushed a button and the robotic arm disappeared back into the roof.
"What was that?" Asked Johnny.
"I was scanning your mind to find the correct language base so we can communicate as efficiently as possible." Said the alien.
"Wow, that's cool. Can you do that with anyone?" Asked Johnny.
"Yes, I can scan the mind of any species in the multiverse and communicate with it."
"Multiverse? What's that?" Enquired Johnny.
"The multiverse is where my ship flies."
"So it doesn't fly in outer space like the spaceships in the movies?" Asked Johnny.
"Strictly speaking, no. My ship is a multi-chronological-dimension-shifter."
"A what?" asked Johnny.
"In terms that you will understand, it's a time and space machine." Said the alien.
Johnny thought about this for a second or so and then said, "You mean that you can travel where-ever and when-ever you want to?" with an excited look on his face.
"Yes." Answered the alien.
"Pardon me?" Said Johnny, unsure of what the alien meant.
"Dew night be a frayed" Said the alien, wondering why Johnny was having problems understanding his own language.
(This had happened before while the alien was attempting to communicate with a new Planet. All kinds of mayhem had been brought about by the alien after it had visited a planet in the Two Suns Solar System and had mispronounced the words for "I come in peace" and had ended up saying "I am here to make you into small parts."
The Alien remembered being brought in front of the council when it had returned to its home planet and being questioned as to how a simple L & I (land and introduce) had ended up with the destruction of twenty-three planets after a war that lasted a thousand years.)
"Do you mean, do not be afraid?" Said Johnny, interrupting the aliens train of thought.
"Yarse. Do not be afraid." Replied the alien, remembering to stick to the methods of introduction course it had been forced to learn in the L & I re-education class.
"OK then." Said Johnny.
"I have want of assistance to bring my craft level." Said the alien, as it looked at its ship.
"I can go and get my mom to call the rescue truck man if you want." Said Johnny.
"Negative."
"It wouldn't take long, my house isn't far away and I don't think my mom will mind."
"Negative. I have stretched hor dourves to follow." Said the alien, totally confusing Johnny.
"I don't understand." Said Johnny.
"I am under guidance from my superior."
"You mean strict orders" Johnny said, having realized what it was that the alien meant.
"Yarse, Strict Orders."
Johnny looked at the spaceship and wondered how only two people, actually one 8 year old and an alien, could possibly turn a spaceship the right way up. "We'll never manage to turn it the right way up, it's too big for us to lift." He said, as he turned around to see the alien was attempting to scramble up the smooth surface of the ramp it had landed on when it fell out of the ship and landed at Johnnys feet.
The alien managed to get halfway up the ramp but then slid back down and landed in a crumpled heap at Johnnys feet. Again. "Snargle-flaggle-shood." Said the alien as it picked itself up.
"It looks like your feet can't get a grip on the ramp. I've got good grips on my shoes, would you like me to try?" Offered Johnny.
"Yarse." Said the alien.
"You mean, yes." Said Johnny.
"Affirmative. I mean yes."
"OK then." Said Johnny taking a few steps back from the bottom of the ramp so he could get a run at it.
Johnny ran as fast as he could and ran up the slope of the ramp. Just as he began to feel his feet slipping on the slick surface of the ramp he threw himself head first into the spaceship and grabbed a lever that was sticking out of the wall of the craft.
"Shood." Said the alien, as it realized that Johnny had accidentally grabbed the correct lever to set the spaceship right way up again. Unfortunately Johnny hadn't pushed the anti gravity button first and with a loud WHOOSH the spaceship flipped over and Johnny was thrown around the ship like a doll in a washing machine.
Johnny screamed as the spaceship righted itself and hit his head for a second time that day.
The spaceships computer scanned the surrounding area and landed gently. A set of steps hissed out of the side of the ship and the alien walked up them to find Johnny rubbing his head and complaining.
"You could have told me that was going to happen." Said Johnny.
The alien ignored Johnny and walked towards one of the walls. The alien lifted its hand and waved it at the wall. A small light flicked to life on the wall and a picture of Johnny appeared. "Gee-bonity-screed" Said the alien.
A small robotic arm dropped from the roof of the craft in front of Johnny and a green light beam began to flash on and off. After a few seconds there was a small bleep and the alien pushed a button and the robotic arm disappeared back into the roof.
"What was that?" Asked Johnny.
"I was scanning your mind to find the correct language base so we can communicate as efficiently as possible." Said the alien.
"Wow, that's cool. Can you do that with anyone?" Asked Johnny.
"Yes, I can scan the mind of any species in the multiverse and communicate with it."
"Multiverse? What's that?" Enquired Johnny.
"The multiverse is where my ship flies."
"So it doesn't fly in outer space like the spaceships in the movies?" Asked Johnny.
"Strictly speaking, no. My ship is a multi-chronological-dimension-shifter."
"A what?" asked Johnny.
"In terms that you will understand, it's a time and space machine." Said the alien.
Johnny thought about this for a second or so and then said, "You mean that you can travel where-ever and when-ever you want to?" with an excited look on his face.
"Yes." Answered the alien.
And this is where you the reader of this blog can get involved.
I have no idea where this story is going. None. Nada, Not a clue. So in order to get my imagination flowing I'm going to throw YOU the chance to decide where the story should go from here.
Should Johnny and the alien go...
- To another planet.
- To another Time.
- To Johnnys house to meet his parents.
2 comments:
Or...
Johnny's nasty streak comes out and he kills the alien with his trusty Swiss Army knife scissors by cutting off the middle eye. Stealing the spacecraft, Johnny shoots seven colours of shite out of George W only to find out he's one of the dead alien's kin (George's third, all-seeing, eye is shoved so far up his arse it skews his vision) and George W declares war on the mutiverse in revenge.
Fuck me...is it Friday yet?
I have no idea where you should go with it either but as a reader of many a book designed for children let me give you a few pointers...all kids books have lessons in them for the kids to learn...whether moral or factual...maybe they go to another time so the lesson can be about what life was like then? Maybe they go to another planet where they come across a moral dilemma and johnny has to make a decision Maybe they meet Johnny's Mum who helps them out with something therefore learning a lesson along the way? The other thing kids books always have is that the child is always left with a feeling of having achieved something good.As well as lots of description about what the surroundings are like. 8 year old is liking this...I know it's fun for you but seriously you get this right and this could be a great story for kids...look out J.K!!
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