Since the last time I posted anything on here for you all to pick over like vultures on a rotting monkey carcass. But there is good reason, my friends, very good reason indeed.
Occasionally, I get a bit introverted and depressed. (Regular readers will have noticed this. You're a very perceptive bunch.) It's been one of those months for me.
The original reason for the depression is forgotten now, but a catalyst for it was asking myself how I would feel if someone I love was hit by cancer. Or some other debilitating disease.
I came to very few conclusions; I've never been all that good at hypothetical questions, as I can't know how I'd deal with something like that happening to one of my family, or indeed someone whom I consider a friend, until it is a reality. That's a reality I never want to have to deal with in my life. Ever. Period.
If just thinking about how I'd deal with something like that can floor me for a couple of weeks how on Gods green and blue would I survive the reality? Would I put on a brave face and keep my chin up to give hope to whomever it was that was struck? Would I crack like a peanut shell, lose my ability to string together sentences and retreat to my bed like I were returning to the womb?
Who knows? Not me.
2 comments:
Sweetheart bad things happen to us all. I have watched as people close struggled with dibilitating ilness, going from strong minded individuals full of life to empty shells wasting away in pain. You feel angry, sad, stupid and utterly helpless when it happens.I have also been unfortunate enough to know the pain of losing a loved one in a matter of seconds with no warning and no chance to help...the same feelings appear but there is also belwilderment and you just can't understand what happened. No-one knows what they will do until they are faced with these things. One thing I do know is that one way or another we get through it. We are stronger than we realise. I got out of bed each morning after Dad died for one reason only...he'd have wanted me to. You get through it by knowing that life goes on, time does heal...cliches but very true. You may well crack like a peanut shell, your heart may smash to a million pieces but you will see light at the end of the tunnel and you will go towards it...and amazingly you will laugh again. You are not unique in having moments of introversion or depression...but even in your dark moods I've yet to see you unable to put on the public face and smile...we're kind of alike that way you and I...whatever the future holds you have someone here who'll hold your hand through it...so smile for now and we'll worry about it if it happens.
Cuzz...Jenny put it so well that it'd be difficult to add any more...
That said...it's all fine and well looking at the hypothetical things that may happen in life (ask me, it's what I do for a living as a disaster recovery consultant), we all do that, but I always say "don't sweat the little shit". What you're concerned about is a total unknown entity (probability low, impact high) and until something like that happens, think about it, but don't sweat it.
Knowing you though, if something like that had to happen, you'd give the person your full support in whatever way you could (probably to the point that said person will tell you to fuck away off and leave them alone for a bit...but you get my point)...
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