Like a rolling stone.

I have a headache like you wouldn't believe right now. Man, is it a doozy. If I were to try to describe it to you I would no doubt have to use words like Thumping, Violent, Insistant and Vehement. I trust you get the idea?

I have spent the last day and a half lying down, either in my bed or on the sofa, cursing whatever chemical reaction in my brain has caused this relentless thumping in my cranium.

I should have been at work on Thursday and Friday but with a head like this I aint going nowhere. Fuck that. Dealing with work is bad enough at normal times let alone when I am ill. At times like these the best place for me to be is in my bed, or out of the public domain at least.

OK, I know, You're sitting there thinking "This guy's a goddamned faggot if a headache can make him take two days off of work." but allow me to let you in on a few things about me.

Pain aint shit to me if it is of the basic type. You know...

• stubbed toe on table leg,
  

• smack in the mouth,
  

• date refusal,

• little kid kicking you in the nuts,

• crashing a motorcycle,

• dislocating your knees,

• standing in a place where there aint room enough to stand,

• hitting your nail instead of the nail with the hammer,

• trapped finger in car door...

Etc etc etc... That kind of pain I can deal with no problem but when I get a headache, forget all the brave looks and the swallowing of pride, I'm as helpless as a kitten in a chinese restaurant.

If I had a partner no doubt I would not be sitting here typing out my misery. I'd be lying down with a moist towel on my brow with a cup of hot lemon on the bedside table (next to a small porcalain bell that I can chime should I need anything from the kitchen/24 hour garage/Asda) but i'm single and do not have the luxury of a personal illness slave. If I want sympathy i'll have to look it up in the dictionary. It's between Shit and Syphilus.