What a Cnut.

For the obvious reasons... A) I'm a bloke. B) I have more sense. C) Trends are only followed by those who cannot think for themselves. Posh Spice however, does. And apparently she's caused a whole lot of hoo-hah with her latest fashion statement of heel-less boots. (cue all the oohing and ahhing of the womenfolk who read this blog) The question I would like an answer to is "Will these shoes, if worn for any significant amount of time, cause back problems or other ill effects." Not because I care about Posh and her health you understand, but because I wish to see her suffer the same amount of agony and distress that she subjected us all to with her "singing." I for one hope that wearing these shoes makes her spine twist like Chubby Checker with Parkinsons disease and curve like a baseball thrown by John Lee Richmond. Should this be the case I'll be happy knowing that the rake thin, irritating, talentless, waste of flesh and organs, cunt is getting all th...

I begin typing frantically, trying desperately to keep up with the pace. My typing is never fast enough for my thoughts and I make more mistakes than George W Bush did during his entire presidency. But this is not a problem, I can spell check and erase my errors, he cannot. The idea is to type in stream of conciousness as the music plays, in order to break the bonds of thought and intent, thereby opening my inner-self to the page before me. Fuck knows if it works or not. I will have to wait until the end of the album playing and read it back. You will not have the experience of the music playing along and will have to take my word for it that I'm listening to Neon-Neon at the time of writing this. I don't last long before I have to stop and read back through the previous paragraphs in case it scans like utter shite on a level never known to man before. I think it's all good so I let it go and get back into the flow. The tune has changed but the music is still in the same po...

The months and the days I can handle, thanks to the high THC levels in my body, it's the seconds that drag. You've probably experienced my life at some point in yours. Boredom is a constant companion and procrastination is your pal. But you, being a productive member of society, overcame the fear and faced your demons head on in a challenge. Or perhaps you didn't and did what I did. You hid. Swept the covers over your head and slept. For hours. In a haze of hash smoke, a delirium of diazepam , a coma of codine, a nest of needles; it's all the same really when you get right down to it... They call us the wasters. The ones who cannot handle the cold hard truth of reality. We see the wars and the famine and the suffering and the injustice of your civilisation and a part of us shuts down. The part that is willing to accept these things as a part of life. And why? Because we know it to be wrong . Fundamentally incorrect, unacceptable to us on a level that you have never touc...

Some people treat their body like a temple. I see mine as more of a funfair. Having just gotten over a chest infection, that I suspect may have actually been pneumonia, I now have a pulled muscle in my chest causing me some pain whenever I breathe or cough... I breathe as a matter of course; I smoke too much and have asthma, so I cough quite frequently... At least I'm hoping it's only a pulled muscle. There is the deep seated paranoid fear in my head that it's a coronary building up to the point where my heart explodes out of me like a stinger missile, or lung cancer. But that's just paranoia. I hope. I'd go to the doctor but after the debacle of yesterday, when I called to try to get an appointment sometime before hell freezes over, this will not happen in the immediate future so I'll suffer the stabbing pains and wait for either my chest to get better or for the upcoming stroke to strike and hurl me violently into the big sleep. But these are the things that k...

Getting a blog and spending a few hours getting it to look how you want it to, and doing all the associated shit that goes with it, there is a site that takes pretty much all of this, scrunches it into a ball, and throws it into the bin. Posterous is a miniblogging site that allows you to easily post whatever you fancy; MP3's, documents and even video in the form of links and files, to a page dedicated to you. Posterous automatically embeds players for the following sites: YouTube, Google Video, Hulu, Omnisio, MixWit, Justin.TV, Fliggo, Vimeo, motionbox, TED Talks, Viddler, Dailymotion, Blip.tv, Revver, TeacherTube, GodTube, seesmic, and Brightcove as well as allowing you to post on other sites like Twitter, Flickr, Tumblr, Blogger, Wordpress, Typepad, Movable Type, Livejournal and Xanga. Founded by Garry Tan and his "college buddy" (Is this a euphemism? Answers on a postcard to the usual address) Sachin Agarwal, after they got sick of having to log into so many websit...

Whenever I asked for something that was extravagant, or just plain ridiculous, my mother used to say to me "Where do you think you are? Daddy's yacht?" "Mum," I'd say, (Mostly because I didn't know my mother well enough to call her Phyllis) "Can we have ice cream and jelly for supper?" "Where do you think you are? Daddy's yacht?" She'd reply. For hours, and often days, after hearing my mother utter these words I would ponder why my dad hadn't told me that he had a yacht or where it was berthed. Another question I pondered on was, how did my dad pay for his yacht on only the salary of an electrician? The worst thing was that in his younger years my dad was in the navy and I gave serious consideration to the idea that when you left the navy they gave you a boat. The higher up the chain of command you were the bigger the boat you got. Admirals got large flagships, Captains got smaller destroyer type boats and electricians got...

Ok so you have a nice shiny Ipod and want to put movies onto it. Here's how... First, get over to www.download.com and download a copy of Pazera Video to Ipod Converter . Start Pazera Video to Ipod Converter. You'll get a box like this... Next you need to add the movie files from wherever you have them on your hard-disk. To do this click the Add Files button in the top right of the program. A box will appear showing you links to the folders on your computer. Find the file you want to convert and select it. Pazera Video to Ipod Converter will add the file to the list of files to be converted. The next step is to tell Pazera Video to Ipod Converter what type of file you want it to be converted to. To do this click the drop down box with profile written on it at the left hand side. In the drop down box click the settings that you wish to use (Go for the Mov - Ipod/Iphone - Best Q - MPEG4 - 1500kbps - AAC 160kbps - 640x480 option.) and select it. Click the button that has writt...