What a Cnut.

I got up early this morning as the sun had me from my slumber at the devilishly early hour of 6am. By 6:30am I was washed, dressed and downstairs warming up the Vespa for a drive in Edinburgh and its surroundings. Nine and a half hours later I returned home and pulled my helmet off to discover that I've got sunburn. Not normal sunburn. Oh no. I've got what should be termed Biker-Burn or something similar to allow you all to picture the kind of sunburn you'd get if the only part of you exposed to the suns rays is the part of your face that is behind the visor of your helmet. There's a bright red oval stretching from the top of my eyebrows to the bottom of my nose and from one temple to the other. I look like some kind of albino Aztec Indian. All I need now is a bone through my nose, a hat that would make Carmen Miranda shit a brick and a CD wedged in my bottom lip and the look would be complete.

I stumbled across a book I thought I'd lost. If my memory serves me correctly, which it usually does, I'm sure I was given it by a woman named Kari who drank in the same pub I did many years ago as she thought I should read it. The book is called The Mentor Book of Major British Poets and contains a veritable cornucopia of works by major British poets. (You probably guessed that from the title. You lot are clever like that.) Anyhoo... I stumbled across this book while looking for something to read in the bath last night and was absolutely over the moon when I saw it's tattered and frayed cover poking out from behind a copy of Ten Thousand Sorrows by Elizabeth Kim . Is it just me or does that last paragraph make me sound a bit gay? If it does please ignore it. Or I'll come round to your house and punch you in the head. (Unless you're a woman, in which case I'll use my amazing powers of seduction and have your pants off and be swinging from your light fixings in ...

Here it is folks, the picture you've all been waiting for... My Vespa.

It's that time of the year when you guys get to see what motor racing is all about. The Moto GP race is being run at Laguna Seca this weekend and I highly recommend that you tune in to see it. And tomorrow you had better tune into WOKQ radio to hear Bigstar tell the world about her Chasing Chesney adventure. For Moto GP information click here . For Live streaming of WOKQ and Bigstar click here .

But there are times that I love my brother. Times like today when he kindly loaned me (roughly) 200 DVD's.

9:45 to be precise. Which, believe me, is very early for me. And why was I up at this ungodly hour? Well, mainly because my friend was working and I was popping up to his work clean my scooter. Steff works as a car valet for a large car company here in Edinburgh and he kindly offered me the use of their facilities, chemicals and jet wash to do the deed. So just before 10am I whipped on my skid lid and headed up to Sighthill. I'd cleaned all the junk out of the glove box (My scooter has a glove box, how cool is that?) and sorted out all the rubbish contained within before setting off so I'd have less to do when I got there. (For the reason that if the big bosses turned up I'd be less likely to get caught nicking their gear to do my scoot.) It took just under an hour to have the Vespa shining like a new pin. I've never actually seen a new pin so that comparison is based purely on rumour, which as we all know can be a dangerous thing... (I once heard a rumour that the head...

New Hampshiristas, New Hampshireburghers... Whatever the hell you lot from New Hampshire call yourselves... May I have your attention please. Everyday next week your local airwaves are to be graced, and I do mean graced, by the presence of none other than my friend Bigstar who will be on in the morning covering her road trip to see Kenny Chesney in concert for the WOKQ radio station. So if you're stuck for something to do early next week why not have a listen by clicking here . (If you'd like to know how much Bigstar loves Mr Kenny Chesney click here and take a look into the mind of his number one fan.)