What a Cnut.

When did I last post on here? September 2018. That's a few years ago now. So, I really should update you all (all three of you who are readers of this) with what's been going on. But that's too much to get into so you'll have to imagine it instead. Picture mounds of cocaine and fine brandies and you'll not be far from the truth. You'll be miles off.  I'm now a resident of East Lothian where I bide with the wonderful Mrs Wifey McQuine who suffers my insanity and puts up with my shite so well she should be given a medal. It was our 15th wedding anniversary last week... How time flies. My dad passed away last year as did my brother in law, both of whom are very much missed. Mrs Wifey McQuine almost checked out as well because her gallbladder decided to explode and needed emergency surgery. To put it shortly, last year was an absolute shitshow.  I'm now working as a bus driver (three years so far) and have finally found a job that I love doing. Sure, there a...

Is it still a thing? Do people still blog; or is it all Podcasts , Twitch streams, going live on YouTube and many many other things which only serve to confuse me as I am now 46 and am therefore old enough to panic when "stuff" appears on my devices. Stuff that tells me I can connect with people from all over the world. So... My question is this... Is anyone still receiving this blog? Send word... It's been a while. Mahalo. Ross.

John Hinds was an unsung hero who passed away today following an accident at the Skerries 100. John was not a racer, he was a Dr. He was the medical motorcyclist who strapped his kit on a bike and set of to save someone who'd had an accident around whichever track he was working at. John was, according to those that he met him over the years, a brilliant man and always had time for people. The number of professional motorcycle racers who owe him their continued lives is in the hundreds. "We are all shocked and saddened by the loss of Dr John Hinds. He saved so many lives. Absolute hero. Our thoughts are with his family" The Ulster Grand Prix organisers said on twitter today. Keith Amor said "So sorry to hear about the passing of Doc John Hinds Quite a lot of us road racers owe him so much, RIP my friend." #deathisawanker 

A legend who left us all behind... It wasn't the first time Joey Dunlop had left people behind... Countless racers had sat behind Joey in hundreds of races around the world and watched with awe as the wee fellah disappeared into the distance. Sadly, on this day fifteen years ago in the small city of Tallin, Estonia he pulled away and didn't return... With 26 Isle of Man TT wins in many different classes, 5 Formula 1 World Motorcycle Championships and many other wins and podiums the world over Joey was world class. He was known across the world of motorcycling as a hero. He is much missed.

 As it's Canada day today Here are some intersting facts about Canada. The largest city in Canada is Toronto. Toronto is home to as many as 78 people.  From 1994-1999 one fifth of the population was employed in the making of Due South. Canada and Scotland have been at war since July 1867 over the use of the word Moose. The most famous Canadian in the world is Paul Gross. A child can carry a gun at three months old. It is illegal in Canada not to know how to skin a wild bear. A Mountie can go without food and water for three months thanks to fat stored in their hats. The National Anthem Of Canada is The Lumberjack Song by Monty Python. It has been at number one in the Canadian charts for the last forty five years. Canadian money is accepted in every country in the world except Canada.  The second most famous Canadian is Diefenbaker the dog, now known as Celine Dion. All residents of Winnipeg must carry at least two fresh fish at all times. A traditional gree...

Or, more specifically, later today I'll be trawling the web finding web design courses. It's all part of the grand plan. Web design, social media, content generation... Mahalo.

There was Instagram... And lo, it was good.   For posting pictures of your latest meal, pictures of your dog and holiday snaps Instagram is the default way to share images online. The app is easy to use and sharing is a doddle. Even a child can do it. Look below, there's a child using a mobile phone... This little chap is probably uploading a photograph so the other kids in the playground can view his latest attempt at colouring in but I'm above that. I think. I'm not sure. I've not had the chance to any colouring in for quite a while now. Anyhoo... Instagram is where we all now drop our memories to keep us from having to remember all that stuff that takes up time between waking up and going back to bed. Surely all of us can make a little bit of cashola from these images was my thinking when I stumbled across Instaprints. It's a fine looking site that allows you to use your images to generate money. After logging in it's pretty simple t...

Again... Kinda. I've decided it's about time I earned some money from doing what I do. Every single bit of "work" I do has a value to someone and as I can't seem to keep a job that has a boss hanging over me or forces me to deal with the other people that inhabit this planet I really should try to gather as much of that value in monetary terms as possible. Mostly to allow me to stop having to have bosses or interact with people. A mobile phone with a camera can now take an image with such high quality that the days of being able to call yourself a photographer and lugging around a Nikon camera are gone... But not really... There are still professional photographers out there. Highly skilled in what they do they make the big bucks (No doubt some of them will be laughing at that statement) because they have years of experience in knowing what makes a good photograph. I don't have years of experience in taking photographs. Anyone who's seen my Insta...

I'm sat here at 2:40am wracking my brains for ways on how to earn a living from online selling. As a heavy social media user with writing experience I really shouldn't find it hard to do so. I should be able to find some writing gigs if I can find somewhere to find sites looking for content. I'm also pretty sure I can sell images and other creative projects. What I need is a brand of some sort.

  So, it’s been a wee while since I last posted anything on here and as I’m getting back into writing I guess I had better fill you all in on what I’ve been doing instead of blogging. I’ve been tweeting . I’m also a member of The Married Man Club, a move that at least a few of my old readers will find hard to believe. A few may even cry. Or think seriously about killing themselves. After all, I’m only getting married once in my life and I’m quite the catch if you like ‘em chunky and funny. As I mentioned I’m getting back into writing and in an effort to force me to keep at it I really should post at least one thing on here per day to keep all four of my fans on here happy. I do have a thousand followers on twitter but I’m not sure how many of them would sit through the shit I’ve written on here in the past so I’ll take it easy for a couple of weeks. Ease them into it so to speak. Has it really been more than 2 years since I posted anything on here? Jeez, time flies… ...

Since I wrote anything on here? Selah. So it goes.

Dailymotion - PIXELS by PATRICK JEAN. - une vidéo Arts - StumbleUpon

Since I last shat anything onto here. And why is that? Cos I've been tweeting the shit outta myself. Followers of my feed are no doubt damn good people so if you're a tweeter why not follow them all and make some friends. They're mostly comedy types or motorcycle racing related people so if that's your gig then get ye some. In other news... In the last month I've won two competitions and have found myself someone who makes me happier than a pig in shit. No more details will be posted about the person who makes me happy 'cos you are just being nosey. So fuck off. The competitions I won were both motorcycle racing related and were courtesy of the great tweet feed of @Expressbikes and the equally wonderful twitter feed of @motorbikehub. Follow them by all means. Tell them I sent you. For my followers on twitter who are reading this blog for the first time, I shall make a promise to update it more often. I'll not get rich and famous for just tweeting my ...

Yup, it's that man again. The one your mother warned you about. The one who your teachers showed you pictures of and told you not to accept any candy from. The one who, if given a chance, would make everyone shout " I was raped by Jesus " in church and would make it legal to spit in the faces of those who attempt to tell others exactly "What God Meant to say was..." So what's been happening in the life of yours truly? Well, nothing much if I'm honest. In fact if I'm honest I'd have to say Fuck All. Life goes on around me and I watch and wonder what it is that I do not have that seems to drive everyone else to be all that they can be. Perhaps it's a lack of a certain chemical in the old noggin or maybe it's a case of too many chemicals have pickled my brain. Whatever, all I know is that there is something rotten in the state of Denmark. I would carry on this post but I must away and do some shopping. Mahalo folks.

What you will need... Chicken Breasts. (Diced or cut into thin slices) Red bell Peppers. Green bell peppers. Baby Corn. Tomatoes. Cajan spice. Thai Sweet Chilli Sauce. Honey. Tortilla wraps. First, prepare your vegetables. The best way I find is to slice the peppers and baby corn reasonably thinly (You can slice them as thin or as thick as you want depending on personal preference) and quarter the tomatoes. Remove the seeds from the tomatoes. Take a wok (or deep based frying pan) and get it nice and hot. Add a small amount of oil to the pan and add the chopped chicken. Whilst the chicken is cooking add a some of the Cajun Spice. Doing this adds a nice flavour to the chicken and adds to the overall flavour of the finished dish. Remove from heat when cooked and place to one side. For best results place the chicken onto some kitchen towel to remove any residual moisture. Wipe the frying pan clear of any residue from cooking the chicken and once again, get it nice and hot. ...

So, Christmas has come and gone, Santa has hung up his work uniform and has contributed to the rising levels of unemployment amongst midgets and elves and Mrs Claus has resigned herself to the fact that he now has to put up with her fat cunt of a husband sitting on the couch for the next 335 days where he will drink heavily and rant at how it's all the fault of the Jews... Which is tragic really, when you think about it. The poor bugger only wanted a wee part time job to get him out the house and thought that the idea of Christmas wouldn't last much longer than a couple of years. Little did he know that as soon as he'd got his feet under the table (a house was one of the perks of the job) of the cottage in Lapland the Boys from head office appeared and turned it all upside down... Gone were the handmade wooden soldiers (for the boys) and the handmade wooden dolls (for the girls) and in came the production lines, health and safety, time and motion studies and unpaid over...

From Robert K edoancap@gmail.com To rossalandouglas@gmail.com Date 28 November 2009 22:16 Subject ~ blog mailed-by gmail.com Signed by gmail.com Hi, Im a freelance reporter investigating various online scams, particularly relating to online classified sites. My question relates to your last blog post . Where did you see this add? I assume Gumtree and what section was this add posted in? Can you send me the full corosponance. I would be happy to plug your blog. Thanks Robert From Ross Douglas rossalandouglas@gmail.com To Robert K edoancap@gmail.com Date 1 December 2009 16:07 Subject Re: blog mailed-by gmail.com Hey there Robert, Can I call you Robbie? How about Rob? Bob maybe? Perhaps I can call you Boo Boo Kitty Fuck? So, you're a freelance reporter are you? I guess you're mostly employed by such venerable news outlets as the Daily Sport and the Sun... You have as much of a grasp on punctuation and spelling as one of the barely educated monkeys that r...

I signed up to write a fifty thousand word novel in less than eighteen days I'd tell you it was because I was confident of being able to do so. But honestly I'd be lying out my teeth. I did it because I was looking for something to keep my mind off cigarettes. I've smoked for the last 20 years and recently gave up the demon weed because I had the horrible experience of seeing someone I care about lying in a hospital bed with pneumonia. She was breathing (if you can call it that) oxygen from a tube stuck up her nose and had a drip in her arm. The colour had gone from her face and there was an underlying look of fear in those pretty brown eyes of hers. So that was it for me. No more cigarettes. No more lighting up, no more inhaling smoke deep into my battle scarred lungs and no more looking cool. I should prepare for the following days of sitting in front of the computer; I should outline a story; I should think of characters that add depth and give you the reader someone ...

From ~ Leona Hynde admin@age-verify.info To ~ rossalandouglas@gmail.com Date ~ 19 November 2009 17:32 Subject Re: Reply to your ad: Writers needed, £272 Weekly Wage Hi there, Thanks for your interest in our online writing vacancy. As stated, we require people with a good sense of humour to review adult websites on the net. The position we have will be home-based and the wage is £350 per week, rising after 6 months. You will be required to write 12 100-word articles per week. If you think you have what it takes to be part of a successful writing team, we require a little proof of your abilities and commitment to the job. We would like you to give a detailed 100 word test review of the members area at a new adult site we've personally selected (www.realdrunkgirls.info). You will need to sign up for a free account there to do so (make sure you cancel within 3 days though to avoid being charged) It's new and we've already reviewed it. When we receive your review, we...