Jim Dunn is an idiot…

In this weeks Scotsman motoring supplement Jim Dunn claims to have control over a car which is in the process of aquaplaning. What?

Fair enough, the car in question is a Lamborghini Gallardo Superleggera which is a precise and well engineered bit of kit capable of making even the most cack handed of drivers look like Sterling Moss. (Even if you happen to be unfortunate enough to land one that got to the end of the production line late on a Friday afternoon.)

Aquaplaning is what happens when the amount of water between the tyres and the road is too much for the tread to dissipate and the car is effectively lifted clear of the tarmac. To experience aquaplaning for yourself drive through one of the many massive puddles that inhabit Scotland’s roads at a good rate of knots, and believe me knots is the correct term here, and you'll experience the phenomenon at close quarters.

The result of aquaplaning is loss of steering, a loss of brakes due to the force of the bow wave knocking the brake shoes clear of the disk and a sudden increase of the heart beat normally associated with extreme sports such as bungee jumping, skydiving or any other sport where the thought "I may be about to die" is at the forefront of your mind.

To put it bluntly when a car is aquaplaning the only thing you have any control over is whether or not you soil your trousers; And If the car in question is headed towards something immovable like a large rock, a tree, or something with a certain amount of give such as a hedge, a dry stane dyke or, God forbid, an armco barrier which is the only thing between the edge of the road and a steep drop off, even this may be out of your hands.

For Jim Dunn to claim any degree of control over a car that has no contact with the road is akin to claiming he has superhuman powers that even the best drivers in the world would sell their souls for.

But then again what do you expect from someone who claims "Superleggera... translates into superlight in Italian." I have news for you Jim, Superleggera translates into English as superlight in Italian superleggera means superlight.