What a Cnut.

I always said that I'd never do a job that involved wearing a tie. My work has decided that I should not only wear a shirt but I should also wrap a noose around my neck. Apparently, trying to choke my spirit and the slow, steady crushing of my individuality isn't enough... Why is it when you take a reasonably rational person and give them a position of power it goes directly to their heads and they turn into a Nazi? Fucked if I know... It's a mystery to me. Perhaps you know differently. Perhaps not. Whatever, let's not dwell on this shit. Let's do something to alter our minds frequency and kiss the skies. After all, that is what we're here for... We are the children of the Grand Whazoo... We are proud warriors on a mission to enlighten the world... We are brave fighters who use words instead of weapons... And we are legion. So sit up and take notice. Or prepare to witness the whirlwind. Take a stand or Take a seat. Lead, follow or get the fuck out the way . This...

The Moto GP circus arrives in Germany this week. The Sachsenring circuit hosts this weekends race. Live timing can be found by clicking here .

From the condition of their desk. Say, for example, you walk into an office and see a neat, well organized desk, you'll make the deduction that this person is well organized and takes pride in the work that they do. Or they have an obsessive compulsive for a cleaner. If, on the other hand, you walk into an office and see a desk full of clutter with unfinished reports hanging out of in trays like an avalanche waiting to happen, you'll come to the conclusion that this person should not be believed when they tell you that the report you asked them to do last month is done and will be on your neat and well organized desk in the morning. In an office environment this rule of thumb can be applied to help you get reports done on time. It's foolproof. Trust me on this one. I may not have worked in an office but I have spent my life watching humanity and studying their traits and foibles. What you should do when you are faced with a desk that looks like mine is... Run. As fast as yo...

A reader of this blog, who also happens to be a member of the club I work at, told me the other day that he found my blog to be "Compulsive reading." This of course made me feel proud and swelled my head no end. Until he told me that his wife wasn't very happy about being described as "About as attractive as Maggie Thatcher" in one of my posts. I searched my mind to try to think if I had ever compared his wife to Maggie Thatcher. Nothing came to mind. He explained that he had been reading the post describing my New Year and I instantly remembered the reason I couldn't recall it. I hadn't posted it on this blog. I had posted it onto a small sideshoot of this blog called " Ranting into the void " which was a small, and inconsequential blog project that I had abandoned aeons ago. As the realization of what he was talking about dawned on me, I laughed and told him that I hadn't specifically meant his wife and that my words were a generalizatio...

I will be attempting to re-write the Edinburgh festival bit . I'll also be working on the comedy skit I have in the pipeline.

Is a comedy skit that I know I could do as a Stand-Up routine. I'm not about to tell you what it is, so don't even think about asking. You'll find out after I have written it and am confident that it'll produce laughs in a Stand-Up comedy club.

So here it is. This is the piece of writing that I did at the request of my Brother. I think it's shit and doesn't deserve the space but who am I to question what the readers want? The Edinburgh International Festival begins soon. Edinburgh metamorphoses from its normally shabby grey color to become a city filled with jesters and merrymakers. Famous faces mince and mingle along the high street inches from such famous landmarks as John Knox House, Holyrood Palace and Edinburgh Castle. It's always colorful when the festival is on. The influx of Actors, Stand-Ups and Australian bar-staff trebles the population and you get the feeling you can do almost anything. If you've ever had a hankering to walk down the street dressed as a nun whilst singing dirty songs at the top of your lungs Edinburgh, during August, is the place to be. Founded in 1947, as a post war initiative to re-unite Europe through culture, the Edinburgh International Festival has grown into the biggest Arts...

I finished writing the piece my brother wanted and have sent it to him and await his judgement. I don't think it's very good. I'll let you know his opinion when I get it.

I stumble across writing that makes me sit up and pay attention. This was one of those times. "Wonderfully written, insightful and true to the nature of life." Is how I'd describe it if I were a writers critic. The New Goo .

I go. Selah. Tonight I plan on working on the challenge my brother has set me so don't expect very much in the way of posts. I may put up a couple of small ones, but don't hold your breath.

Writers block. Damn it all to hell. I have hit upon a block in the last couple of days. Possibly due to the fact that I have been watching DVD's for the last couple of days and have therefore not had to do any thinking at all. Or at least, a very minimal amount has been needed to get me through the days. I've been running on auto pilot really. The only things I've had to deal with involved what will I eat and what time do I start work. The one thing I have been forced to think about is what to write for the challenge set by my brother to write something. This has caused me much angst. I face a deadline I feel obliged to meet for the first time in my life and what happens? My brain grinds to a scrunching halt.

Apart from this one. Obviously. The reason for this is that I have too many DVD's to watch. I also have to try to figure out what I should write about for the challenge I have been set by my brother .

I've been set the task of writing a screed, on a topic of my choice, before my nephews birthday next week. My brother Stuart set me the task after I had rambled on about how much my job at the club sucked. The challenge is to write a piece that can be submitted to a newspaper/magazine. Where it goes from there I have no idea. Whatever happens I'll keep you posted.

The next few days will be a DVD fest. Tomorrow morning will be spent lying in my bed with the Sunday papers and the following DVD's to keep me company. Bus 174 . Supersize Me . The very best of Have I got news for you . Have I got news for you. The best of the guest presenters . Space 1999 . The Great escape . The Tomorrow people . Black Books . First series. The Planet of the Apes. Special Edition . All that's missing is a warm woman.

Dan Brown. Deception Point. I'll now be able to finish reading Bertold Brechts' Threepenny novel. While I do this perhaps you'd like to read this little screed by Hunter S Thompson. Perhaps not. But you don't know what you're missing.

Life. It's a puzzling thing. Lessons learned over time. But for what point? For what purpose? I'd like to think that there is some grand scheme behind the intricacies of the universe but if involves taking communion, praying to the sun, giving my heart to Jesus or any other kind of general worshipping then count me out. Fuck that. The Grand Whazoo does not require prayer or dedication. He doesn't give a fuck about that, I know 'cos It told me. "I don't give a fuck about that." It said. Why would It lie to me? It has nothing to gain from lying to me. Unlike certain things in life... Governments, Ministers, Clerics, Popes etc etc etc... They all have something to gain by filling my head with nonsense. Control & obedience. Allegiance. The Grand Whazoo thinks this is all bullshit. "It's all bullshit." It said. When It told me that, I knew. I saw. I realized. The Grand Whazoo wants very little from me... That I be me. That I listen to the litt...

Purely a list of what I have been listening to this last week or so. Eminem - Encore. Goo Goo Dolls - Iris. Beck - Guero. James Blunt - Back to Bedlam. U2 - How to dismantle an atomic bomb. Kaiser Chiefs - Employment. Razorlight - Up all night. Kasabian - Together we build. King Curtis - Live at Filmore West 1971. Damien Rice - Green Eyes. The Pogues - Lorca's Novena. L L Cool J - Knock You Out. Everclear - Wonderful & Santa Monica. You'd do no wrong downloading a copy of all of these tunes.

Regarding the shocking news that Grand Theft Auto San Andreas has scenes of a sexual nature hidden within the game. What I'd like to know was who complained?

Could be the first ever live & interactive nervous breakdown. It's certainly looking that way in my life just now. I may, very soon, snap and do something rash. Something along the lines of quitting my job and throw myself at the mercy of the whims of the Grand Whazoo. Maybe. Perhaps. Who knows... Only the Grand Whazoo.

The UK has now outlawed the use of Magic Mushrooms . This is a law I will break whenever I am given the chance. I recommend that you do too.

I did intend on finishing Bertold Brechts' Threepenny Novel before begining to read another book. Yesterday I bought a copy of Dan Browns' Deception Point and decided to put Bertold Brecht aside for a couple of days while I read Deception Point. The best laid plans of mice and men, and all that guff...

The British round of the Moto GP is being held at Donnington . Unfortunately I cannot attend. My friends, Steff and Oswaldo, will be there though. They are fully prepared for a full on drunken assault on the camping grounds of Donnington Park and have been told to get pictures and that I'll be interviewing them when they get back. If you are off to Donnington this weekend keep an eye out for them. They're the ones who'll be in the camouflaged gazebo with the Italian flag, A Saltire flag and a Lion Rampant flag on display for all to see. Feel free to pop in and tell them I said you've to get a beer from them. Just say that Ross sent you...

I'm doing a double shift at the club today. I've managed to grab a couple of hours sleep before I go back in at 6pm to do the other shift. And boy do I need it. My shift tonight finishes at midnight and at 9am the following morning I begin another shift. So it goes. Because of this I may not post very much tonight.

To let you know that I'm not, as rumoured to be, dead. That's a different Scotsman. Kinda, James Doohan , the actor who played Scotty in Star Trek, has died. He's been beamed up one last time and has been transported to a different dimension. May the Grand Whazoo take care of him.

I'm not very widely read on here. I came to this conclusion after the London bombing happened and I didn't recieve any hate mail for selling this T-Shirt on Cafe Press .

Tony Blair today refuted claims by the Royal Institute of International Affairs ( RIIA ) that the London bombing was a result of the UK being the closest ally to the US lead invasion of Iraq. Anyone surprised? No. Me either. In the report the RIIA puts forwards the idea that if the UK was not so quick to jump onto the bandwagon the London bombings would not have taken place. In a press release the RIIA said, "There is "no doubt" that the invasion of Iraq has imposed particular difficulties for the UK and for the wider coalition against terrorism... The situation in Iraq has ‘given a boost to the Al-Qaeda network's propaganda, recruitment and fundraising, whilst providing an ideal targeting and training area for Al-Qaeda-linked terrorists." Talk about stating the obvious. I'm sure if I were a valley girl I'd be saying "Like duh..." right about now. But I'm not. So I'll stick to making snide remarks and taking the piss. Do what you...

I did intend on going into the city centre today to see about getting an open mic spot but for ome reason there is a strike going on involving the bus drivers. And to think I grew up during a war for those swines.

This post is just a list of the books that I will be reading in the next few weeks. Bertolt Brecht - Threepenny Novel. Ian Rankin - The Hanging Garden. Robert Olen Butler - Mr Spaceman. Alexander Solzhenitsyn - The Gulag Archipeligo. Fear No Evil - Natan Sharansky.

I recently had an experience with music that happens once in a blue moon when I heard James Blunts' song "You're Beautiful." (Read what I wrote here .) Krissy, a regular reader of my madness read my review and is now addicted to listening to James Blunt. She listens to "Out of my mind" at least once a day. Or so she tells me. Perhaps she was only saying it to make me feel like I'm a part of her life in some small way. I believe she listens to the song and does consider me an influence in her life, but I also believe that JFK was killed by his own government. I currently have no way of knowing if either belief is true. So it goes. In order to appreciate Krissy on a deeper level than acquaintances on the net I decided that I should get a hold of a copy of James Blunts' album "Back to Bedlam" and dedicate some time to listen to it. I wasn't disappointed. And neither will you be if you go out and beg, borrow or steal a copy of "Back To...

The backlash has begun... Charles Clark has announced plans to install new laws in the UK to prevent terrorism. All well and good you'd think, until you read what it is that Mr Clark is proposing. If these laws are passed by the UK government it will become illegal to... Access web sites that contain information on how to make explosives or incendiary devices. indirectly incite terrorism. What right does the government have to tell me, a law abiding person if you don't count the occasional breach of drug laws, what web sites I can access? None. I'm old enough to decide what web sites I access. Being curious as to how you could make something go BANG and carrying out a bombing are two entirely different things. And exactly what will be construed as speech which "indirectly incites terrorism." If these new laws are passed it will no longer be legal to state, in a private conversation, that you wish someone would shoot George W Warmonger to save the world fro...

My Notes from Africa series. All previous parts of my journey journal can be found by clicking here .

Have you ever read a biography, or an autobiography, where someone gave up a steady job with a regular income to chase a dream? I'm in the mood to do just this. My job at the club is slowly driving me off my head... I actually think what's driving me off my head is some kind of deeply rooted self destructive streak but let's not go into that just yet. We have bigger fish to fry for the moment... Since returning to Edinburgh after my month off in Africa I have found myself slipping back into the rut that I promised myself I wouldn't slip back into. And I'm annoyed at myself for allowing this to happen. Very annoyed. For the last couple of years I have harbored a desire to give Stand-up comedy a whack as a career but as such I have only talked about doing so. It may be the time that the talking about it stopped and getting up and doing it began. What's holding me back from trying you may ask, and justifiably so. What I think is holding me back is the fear of fail...

I have an urge, an itch, a desire if you will... To make a ringtone for mobile phones. I've wanted to do this for a while now and even wrote about it on here, the problem is I don't have the knowledge of how to go about doing so. If there is anyone in the blogosphere that knows what I need to do to create ringtones, please, drop me a line. The ringtone I have in mind is yelling at the top of my lungs "Answer your fucking phone!" I could also do celebrity impression versions including... Sean Connery; "Could someone pleashe anshwer thish fucking phone!" Mrs Doubtfire; "Oh hello dear! Would you mind answering the fucking phone?" And many more. So if there is anyone out there that knows what I need to do to make a ringtone, that will make the crazy frog look like a temporarily insane tadpole, do the right thing and drop me a line or leave a comment.

I've been in bed all day so far, trying my best not to hurl, puke, upchuck, blow chunks, spew, vomit, huey or ralph. It's going well so far. I haven't puked at all today but I have sat and shat. If you can qualify shitting through the (brown) eye of a needle as having shat. I personally have no idea how you grade your shits. Perhaps you rate a nice conker colored firm stool sample as a ten on the shit scale and a runny wet poop as a one. Perhaps I should take a picture of my next splatter and upload it to rate my poo . I'd get to use my new digital camera that my mother very kindly bought me for my birthday and you'd get the chance to witness the latest download from my butthole and score it on a 1-10 scale. Wouldn't that just make your day?

As you may have read yesterday I'm currently crook with a stomach bug. Never fear though, my mum has decided that chicken soup is the remedy for it and is bringing me some today at 2pm.

Is that I don't know everything. But I'd love too. So why isn't science working on finding a way to input large volumes of data into the human brain? Perhaps they are... The ability may not be available to the general public just yet. After all, the military has to fuck around with it and make sure we aren't able find out all those nasty "National Security" secrets. Because that can't happen. Can it? The general public can't ever find out that the Governments of the world are merely using each other, and the mainstream media, to compartmentalize and assign blame for their own failures. When the shit hits the fan and Osama Bin bogeyman and his evil cohorts strike with deadly accuracy within a supposedly "safe" area what do the government do? They take away our freedoms and tell us that if we had ID cards none of this would have happened. This weeks bombing in London has given the UK Government a perfect opportunity to push through their ID ca...

I called in sick to work today. I woke up this morning at about 4am and had to run for the loo. I only just made it before my stomach purged itself of whatever it was that it wanted rid of. Since then I've puked my guts up three time and have decorated the walls of the toilet pan with copious amounts of very squishy shit. Not a pleasant image I know but I thought I'd share it anyhoo. Because of this I've been in my bed all day.

I survived through working in a temperature of 95degrees. The inside of my legs were so wet with sweat at one point I thought I'd lost control of my bladder and pissed myself. Which is a popular thing at the club, there are a lot of old people who drink too much and forget that it takes them ten minutes to get to the khazi. Tomorrows weather is supposed to be just as hot. This is unheralded in Scotland. Summer in Scotland is supposed to be when the rain comes slightly from one side instead of straight down. We only have two seasons here for fucks sake, Winter and June. And what are we getting? Tarmac melting heat that has made everyone in Scotland think that global warming isn't such a bad thing. But there is also a bad side to this weather. Skin cancer. That age old killer of the sunbather. Now it turns out that Scots have no worries about that either if those wacky scientists are right about curry being a cure for cancer . The Scots people have always had an unnatural fondnes...

It's still hotter than hell here in Edinburgh. So much so that I've spent the morning lying on my bed. I can't take this heat. It's murder. I keep expecting to see the birds drop out of the skies above me, their wings aflame and making terrible noises. I'm sure if this weather keeps up I may witness just that. That's if I haven't went up in flames like a human shaped roman candle. Whooomph. I'm working tonight so I'll no doubt be sweating like a Nazi at a war crimes hearing and cursing the club for not having any modern way of cooling the club down. That place is so outdated I consider myself lucky that it actually has windows. I'll just have to keep a sink of cold water in the kitchen and once in a while dunk my head into it to keep cool. So now I'm off to have a shower to get ready for work. Doing so will no doubt make me more sweaty than I already am but what can I do? Move to the Arctic? Fuck that. I'd only start whining about how col...

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Imagine that you are the friend or relative of one of the people who may have been caught in the London bombings last week. What kind of anguish would you be feeling? The uncertainty of whether they are alive, dead or are currently wandering around with no knowledge of who they are due to the brain trauma that could be caused by being in the wrong place at the wrong time. Now imagine the anger that you'd be feeling when you discovered that the helpline set up to help find people caught up in the bombings is costing you 40 pence a minute. This is NOT a joke. Any reason or excuse that the company in charge or the Government comes up with will not be good enough. Profiting from the dead has reached a new low.

It's 4:25 and I can't sleep. Ho hum. I have no doubt in my mind that I'll be sitting here in more than an hours time and have written fuck all worth reading. But hey, that's life sometimes. Sometimes you eat the bear sometimes the bear eats you, as they like to say in the backwoods of Kentucky, Arkansas and Connecticut. At some point or another all writers, I'm informed, hit upon some kind of blockage in their creativity. I think I'm about to have a blockage. I'll sit here and try to squeeze out something though. As the saying goes; Either shit or get off the pot... As I sit watching the sun rising I find myself wondering how the people I met in South Africa are. If I were to try to put a name to it I'd have to call it People-I-met-while-on-holiday syndrome. They're the people whom I met who are friends or acquaintances of people I know, people I met, or people I sparked up a conversation with while off on my African journey. When I bade farewell I k...

The Red Bull USA GP took place at Laguna Seca today. U.S rider Nicky Hayden placed first with his fellow countryman Colin Edwards taking a well fought second place after a long and hard battle with Valentino Rossi who took the final podium position. Hayden, who until today's race has never stood on the top step of the Moto GP podium, spoke of how it felt to win his first race in front of his home crowd... "I can honestly say that this is a dream come true for me. You spend your whole life rehearsing the speech for a day like this but now it has happened I can't find the words to describe how I feel. It hasn't been easy for me in Moto GP over the past two seasons but every dog has its day and this was mine. Hopefully it can be the start of bigger things from now on." Colin Edwards commented... "I made another bad start and ended up with two riders making a sandwich of me into turn one. They had my handlebars on each side and just carried me into the corner s...

The Moto GP race takes place at Laguna Seca in the USA later today. For the first time in 10 years the sound of a GP bike coming over the brow of turn one at Laguna Seca will be heard by thousands of race fans. To view live timing for the race click here .

What live journal is but I am now a member. My brother has apparently paid £5 to make me a member. He must have been decorating the house at his wifes insistance, got high on the fumes and snapped or something. I have no idea what use it is to me. Maybe one day soon this will become clear. If it does, I'll let you know.

Is too hot? I'd say that too hot was around the 100degree mark. And I'm pretty sure you'd agree with me on that one. After all you are a sane rational type. Otherwise you wouldn't be reading this blog. While at work tonight the temperature behind the bar hit 95degrees. I've had a river of sweat running down my back for the last eight hours that would put the Rio Grande to shame. But now, I'm home with a cold beer in my hand, I've whipped off all my clothing and I'm sat here butt nekkid. And damn does it feel good. It may not look too good but as there is no one else here that runs the risk of convulsively vomiting I'm sure I'm safe.

Next Saturday? If so please feel free to wander along to the Cabaret Voltaire on Blair Street here in Edinburgh and check out Last Great Wilderness .

What with all the G8 guff winding up I'm in need of a project to fill my time and to give me something to write about. Perhaps I should look into the local community centre and see if there is anything that would grab my interest and give it a firm shake. Maybe a foreign language course is the thing for me. I've always had a hankering for learning a new language. How difficult can it be? I managed to learn English. Or perhaps I could do a computing course that I can use to get another job. That could be cool, I've never worked in an office before. I wonder how long I'd last before I got sacked? Probably not very long. I have the wrong work ethic according to most people who have employed me. How about a writing course of some form? Creative writing is one of my stronger points so why not do something that'll improve on a talent I have a desire to use? It's not a bad idea. It'd certainly allow me to be able to write coherently. Alternatively I could learn a m...

My blog now has something called a tag cloud . I haven't quite figured it out yet but this will no doubt change with time.

To all of those people who lost loved ones in the London bombing yesterday. I do not know you, or know your pain, but my heart aches for you.

But was I the only person who wondered to themselves if the bombings in London were a government sanctioned distraction to keep the populace from concentrating on the G8 summit? I don't think I was.

To my faithful readers for failing to post very much over the last two days. This situation will be rectified tonight when I shall attempt to stay sober and awake enough to string some coherent sentences together. Until then... Have a nice day.

For this headache to go away. I say headache, what I actually mean is hangover. I didn't manage to get around to Murrayfield on Wednesday to watch the Final Push in the Make Poverty History campaign, but I did spend the evening at a barbecue at a friends house just around the corner from Murrayfield. The evening was spent chatting and drinking with my friend Carol-Anne and a few of her workmates. All very nice people, I must add. Especially the one named Jennifer but that's another story... Mampoer is a South African hooch that makes parts of you feel great and other parts of you feel awful. I whacked back at least half a bottle of it last night and by Christ does it get you blasted. It also has some kind of property that cannot be explained by science. Unlike most spirits above 30% it doesn't get you drunk in the traditional sense of the word, it gets you drunk in a whole new way. You will no doubt be familiar with the feeling of "If I have another drink I'll pass...

It's the Final Push in the make poverty history campaign with a concert at Murrayfield. If I am able to pop around to witness the throngs of people at Murrayfield I'll do so and will report on it when I return. Here's hoping that all goes smoothly, for not only the people attending but for the artists taking part and the police who will be attempting to control the crowds, and takes place with the least amount of trouble. People have voiced concerns that the anarchy groups in Edinburgh at the moment may attempt to hijack the event and cause trouble. We can only hope they don't. Time will tell.

Yesterday was a special day in the annals of golf. The first ever ONC challenge took place at Carrick Knowe golf course here in Edinburgh. After two hours of spectacular golf Steff Croy took first place narrowly defeating Oswald Western. Here are some pictures of the game in progress. Before the game. At the first. Oswaldo putts for par while Steff lines up his shot. Oswaldo grips it and rips it as Big Bertha comes out to play. Oswald pitches onto the final hole. The players shaking hands after a well played game of golf. After the match Oswaldo spoke with the press and said, "Steff played really well and deserved to win. It's great to see talent like his and playing against him was a pleasure." When asked if he planned on challenging for the title again next year Oswaldo replied, "I think I'll need to put in a little work with Bertha, just to tame the bitch." when our reporter on the scene asked which he would rather have, a tame mare or a wild stallion Osw...

Report on the Carnival for full enjoyment. Edinburgh. 04/07/2005. "TV rots your mind." My mum used to say that to me when I was a kid. Now I'm older I realize that she was right. TV does indeed rot your mind. It also has issues with telling the truth. If you were to watch the news last night you'd probably get the impression that Edinburgh city centre yesterday was a war zone where riot cops battled with black clad anarchists bent on destruction and mayhem. Allow me to set the record straight. It wasn't. I left my house at 10:30am so that I could witness the build up of police and people that I knew was going to occur. I walked towards the west end and saw crowds of people waiting patiently for the chaos that they had been duped into thinking was going to take place. At least three hundred people were standing, or milling, around. I asked a passing policeman, of which there were several, if he knew where it was the anarchists planned to meet. He replied that he di...

It's the G8. I've just arrived back from the protest that was being held in Edinburgh city centre today. I have a pounding headache and sore feet as, I'm sure, the rest of the people that were there do. Some headaches will no doubt be suffering from mild sunstroke like mine is, and some will have a sore head from being whacked by overexcited policemen. My full report on the march will be written tomorrow when I drag my arse out of my bed. Right now though, I'm off to bed to get some rest. Keep smiling.

What is going to go down in the city centre tomorrow. I've been speaking with a lot of the local residents of Edinburgh in the last couple of days to find out what their opinions on the G8 summit related happenings that have been taking place. Generally the opinion is that the cause to Make Poverty History is a good thing, as is Wednesdays concert at Murrayfield, but the anarchist action that may happen tomorrow is a very bad idea and may well turn the city of Edinburgh into a war zone. That seems to me to be the general opinion as far as I see it anyway. The reality may be different, but only time will tell. I have decided that I should be adequately prepared for whatever may happen, be it a peaceful demonstration or a full on burn-baby-burn riot, so before I leave tomorrow I'll throw some essentials into a bag. I'll be taking my camera, notebook, some bottled water, an old towel and my kevlar helmet. I may also take along a few beers to suck down.

Is the day when, potentially, the shit may hit the fan here in Edinburgh because of the G8 summit. And I'm looking forward to it. Whether this is sensible or not remains to be seen. Anti-capitalists will be protesting around the city centre. Anarchist groups such as The Wombles , Dissent and others will swoop into the west end and stage random protests. Targets are alleged to be large multinational corporations, banks, financial institutors and there have been, according to news sources , calls to blockade roads leading out of Edinburgh to prevent the G8 leaders staff from getting to Gleneagles. Edinburgh council have said on their website ... The Council is aware that a collective group of protestors are planning an event, The Carnival for Full Enjoyment, in central Edinburgh at lunchtime on Monday 4 July. However we have not been contacted formally by the group, so we do not have any official details on what is planned for the day. We believe in the right of free speech and supp...

Today the world watched Live8. But not me. And why? You may ask. Because I was part of it. I woke up this morning feeling slightly groggy from the previous night of drunken debauchery, showered, dressed, threw my work clothes into my bag and headed into Edinburghs' centre. The streets were strangely silent and devoid of people. A couple of shops remained open to passing trade but most were closed for the day. Some even had the windows boarded up. I walked into the west end of Princes St and was staggered to see row upon row of police vans packed to the rafters with bored and boiling policemen. The sun whacked into the windows of the vans and I felt almost sorry for the poor swine as they sat being slowly roasted alive. As I approached the Meadows, a large public park here in Edinburgh, the crowds of people drifting into the area of the Make Poverty History march got denser with every step. Walking into the Meadows I saw wave upon wave of people with banners, flags and signs calling...

All I do is work. Yeah sure, my job is a piece of piss. Tonight I spent most of the time chatting to club members and watching the TV. Not idly watching TV either. I was watching to see if there was anything worth writing about on here tonight. But thanks to Sky News being obsessed with non runners in the news handicap stakes there was fuck all worth spending time writing about. So now I have nothing much to write about. Therefore I'm off to bed and I'll whip something off for you to all clamor over later. Goodnight & Via con dios.

It's exactly one year to the day since I started blogging. To celebrate this accomplishment I shall be spending tomorrow night drinking heavily. Wish me luck.