I'd give my right arm...

For this headache to go away.

I say headache, what I actually mean is hangover.

I didn't manage to get around to Murrayfield on Wednesday to watch the Final Push in the Make Poverty History campaign, but I did spend the evening at a barbecue at a friends house just around the corner from Murrayfield.

The evening was spent chatting and drinking with my friend Carol-Anne and a few of her workmates. All very nice people, I must add. Especially the one named Jennifer but that's another story...

Mampoer is a South African hooch that makes parts of you feel great and other parts of you feel awful. I whacked back at least half a bottle of it last night and by Christ does it get you blasted. It also has some kind of property that cannot be explained by science. Unlike most spirits above 30% it doesn't get you drunk in the traditional sense of the word, it gets you drunk in a whole new way.

You will no doubt be familiar with the feeling of "If I have another drink I'll pass out and be comatose for an hour or two." That was the stage at which I was when I was asked if I was going to have a mampoer.

Generally this is not the correct time of the night that you should start drinking crazy foreign liquor, but when you're at a party some deeply rooted part of your brain becomes the designated thinker and you find yourself saying things like, I can handle tequila, Ouzo isn't that bad, I'd love an absinthe and other similarly senseless things.

This is what happened to me. The designated thinker used my vocal cords and said in a proud and happy voice "Bring it on." A shooter glass was produced and a shot of Mampoer was stuck in front of my face.

I watched as my hand reached for the glass and tipped the liquid into my mouth. Part of my brain must have still been operating on a normal level as I remember thinking that what I was about to do was possibly not the cleverest idea I've ever had. The designated thinker told the voice of reason to get the fuck out of the way or face the consequences and I tossed back my head and swallowed.

And now, more than 24 hours later I have the hangover to end all hangovers. Memories of the night are hazy and I'm sure I'll be hearing tales of woe regarding my behavior for the next few weeks.

Selah.