This was the reason, I think, that I sat at my desk last night and poured out my state of mind to the old friend that got in touch with me not long ago. (There will be no revelations as to who this old friend/flame was so don't bother asking...) And now, the day after, I'm shitting bricks that she has read more into my words than were intended or implied. Why am I shitting bricks? I hear you ask. Well, mostly because I would like this person to be a part of my life again.
What the hell, here's the thing I wrote...
And now, as the witching hour approacheth, I'm sure you are snuggled up in bed warm and cosy so I think it's only fair that I tell you little bedtime story...
Once upon a time there was a young, not all-together hideous to look at, artistically leaning guy who met a girl who set off sparks in the young (and once again I stress, not all-together hideous to look at) guy's heart. Whenever he was in the company of the girl everything; Time, people and places, seemed to fade into the background like shadows on a pavement when a cloud rolls over.
The relationship they had together developed over time into something more than friends (but without all the squishy bits getting involved) and more and more they fell into the netherworld, where people of this state exist, which is known as "I wish they'd just get a room and get it over with."
But... The gods, who enjoy nothing more than seeing two people struggle to be apart when the magnets are facing the RIGHT way to ensure attraction, decided otherwise and watched as two people who cared deeply for each other tore one another apart.
The people never resorted to physical violence, keeping true to "star crossed" loves tendency to hurt with words and bit by bit a deep chasm was created between the people who needed one another like the air they each breathed.
Time passed and, like icebergs on the open sea, they drifted apart...
And now, may years later they find themselves back in contact and he finds himself wondering what could have been had the gods decided differently and allowed these people to be together, even for a short time.
But he doesn't dwell on that thought for long and instead accepts this woman back into his life for good or bad. He steps forward into the unknown with an open mind and an open heart. Preconceptions are not on his mind, there is no resentment felt and what happened many years ago is forgotten and forgiven.
Most of all he hopes that this is true for her also and that she recognises a chance from the gods to rekindle a very meaningful friendship.
I think you'll see why it is I'm shitting bricks, you lot are all intelligent enough to see the subtext that could be read into the above words.
There's also the fact that she hasn't sent a reply. And yes, I know that there are many reasons... She may not have been online, she may not have the time to put together a reply to something as emotionally charged as that, she may be busy getting things ready for New Year, her arms could have fell off and she's having to type with a pencil in her mouth so as to not having to resort to typing by smashing her face onto the keyboard, whatever... It's just playing on my mind.
To finish this post (because I need to jump into the bath and get ready for work) I'd like to categorically state, both to you my readers and her, that nothing more than what was written was intended and that what was stated was true, even if it was a bit deep.
Mahalo and Hau’oli Makahiki Hou to you all.