Calling all tech-heads. Help needed.

I have an urge, an itch, a desire if you will...

To make a ringtone for mobile phones. I've wanted to do this for a while now and even wrote about it on here, the problem is I don't have the knowledge of how to go about doing so. If there is anyone in the blogosphere that knows what I need to do to create ringtones, please, drop me a line.

The ringtone I have in mind is yelling at the top of my lungs "Answer your fucking phone!"

I could also do celebrity impression versions including...

Sean Connery; "Could someone pleashe anshwer thish fucking phone!"

Mrs Doubtfire; "Oh hello dear! Would you mind answering the fucking phone?"

And many more. So if there is anyone out there that knows what I need to do to make a ringtone, that will make the crazy frog look like a temporarily insane tadpole, do the right thing and drop me a line or leave a comment.