And to add extra kudos they replace the "for" with the number 4 in their logo...
It's supposed to be a place where the unemployed can go to use a computer, write their CV's, do job searches, fill in application forms or drink Special Brew somewhere off the cold Edinburgh streets. What it actually is is a holding pen for halfwits. And I, dear reader, am forced to go there. 4 times a week... Pity me.
The first day of the course was an induction day where forms were filled in, details were noted and pupils were met. (I say pupils but for some reason the staff there call us "Customers" despite the fact that there is nothing in the place that you would ever purchase while not out your face on a combination of laudanum and LSD.)
Day two was... I don't know what day two was like. I bunked off.
Before you get all judgemental and feel like chastising me for not attending allow me to explain why I bunked off. It was for my own safety. I was genuinely scared to go back after the looks I got from some of the people after I scored 100% on my literacy test.
(Trust me, if you got eyeballed by someone who has a tattoo on his forehead saying "Skinz Rool" you wouldn't be so quick to judge...)
Day three was very much the same as day two. (I was genuinely freaked out.)
Day four, today that is, was used up by writing my CV so it doesn't look too bad, composing letters to prospective employers, applying for positions and enquiring about going to college to further my education in a desperate bid to stop me from becoming the manager of a McDonalds in five years time.
6 comments:
At long last, you've made the comments window a pop-up.....yay!!
Cuzz...there must be loads of employment agencies out there, with long job lists, looking for people to fit a variety of jobs. what about them? Seems to me they might be a better bet than "A4E"...?
Fuuuck, five years to get a managerial position in MacD's - no way it takes Johny No stars and his baseball cap that long, surely?
Barista at Starbucks, think of the tidy chicks you could be slurring "mocha baby" to in there... and there's bound to be one within 100 yards of your address... gorgie isn't it? One at the station, one at the other side of the road, one at Princess st, a million at George st... aye, that'll do.
Not surprised you bunked off, you'll be rewarded for your intelligence in doing so, the rest keep turning up believing they are getting paid for this shite.
Steve-o,
I'm doing the A4E gig as it's a good way to get into further education. (I hope to do a writing/journalism course.)
Beambeam,
I've yet to see a McD's worker with no stars. (Rumour has it you get a star for actually turning up. Five stars is achieved by turning up for a full weeks work.)
As for starbucks, fuck that. Plus I'm barred from starbucks.
Hey Ross,
There's always Tesco...they even gave me a job there! Actually, I've worked at worse places than Tesco. At least working the night shift allows you to meet some interesting people..
boet, u must consider becoming a plumber. Really - think about it....
Salagatle!
Tesco! Yes, I worked the fishcounter there and abused the fuck out of kids at lunchtime by launching chunks of Ice at them... now that was a summer job!
Post a Comment