The silliness goes on. And on. And on...

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The Haunting.
A Short Story.
Part Eight.
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No matter how hard Ross tried he couldn't get his legs to co-operate. As the soldiers stood to attention Ross swayed like a flagpole in strong breeze.

The sergeant walked over to where Ross was swaying in the wind and asked him to inspect the troops. "Do I have to? I'd much rather inspect a bed while having a nice long lie down." Ross said.

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Ross walked along the line of troops who were doing their best to look like highly trained killing machines. They failed to look like killing machines as much as Ross failed to look like he wasn't suffering from the biggest hangover of his life.

After Ross finished walking along the line of troops the thought occurred to him that he should say something encouraging to them. "Troops!" He began, "It is with immense pride that I look upon you all. If you had told me last week that I would be addressing a whole troop of soldier spiders I don't know what I'd have said."

A soldier at the back of the troop made the remark that last week Ross would have stood on them or nailed them to the ceiling of his flat with a dart. The sergeant shouted out for whoever said that had better "Shut it!"

As the sergeant dismissed the soldiers Ross asked where he could get a drink. The sergeant suggested going back to the bar and Ross told him in no uncertain terms that he'd rather drink ditchwater.

The sergeant suggested a cup of dandelion tea and Ross told the sergeant that he'd love a cup of tea. They walked over to the mess hall and had a cup of tea. As they drank their tea the sergeant asked what Ross thought of the troop.

Ross explained that he hadn't got a clue. "But you're the one who killed General Bitsy." The sergeant said. "You are the brave warrior of spider legend." It continued.
"Spider legend?" Ross enquired.
"There is a spider legend that tells of a brave warrior who will save the spiders from the yellow backed ones." The sergeant said.
"Well I hate to be the one to tell you this but I'm not a brave warrior." Ross said.
"You must be, you killed General Bitsy." The sergeant said.
"That was mostly down to luck. I threw a dart and it hit General bitsy." Ross replied.
"But the spider council has it's hopes pinned on you. If you fail to defeat the daddy long legs and the wasps the spider people are doomed."

Ross realised that even if he didn't think he was the brave warrior that the sergeant thought he was he would still have to go through with the decision he made. "Look, can you pick out 6 of your best soldiers and meet me in the bar in two hours?" Ross asked the sergeant.
"Yes, but what for?" Asked the sergeant.
"I'll tell you later. Just be here with six of your best spiders." Ross said and ran out of the messhall.

Ross ran towards the main cave and found W.
"Those things I wanted to bring with me, where are they?" Ross asked.
"In the council chambers. Why?" W questioned.
"Because I need them." Ross replied.
"Why? The war on the wasps and the daddy long legs' isn't going to happen for at least a week." Said W.
"That's what they think. I've got other ideas." Ross said.

Ross went to see the stallholder that he had met while buying up all the stock and giving it away. Ross asked for a few things and the spider said he would have it delivered to the messhall. Then Ross found W again and asked where he could get a hold of the spider that had made the waistcoat of clover leaves for him to wear. W took him to the spider seamstress and Ross asked her if she could make a few things for him on very short notice.

With an hour to go before Ross was due back at the messhall he went to his small cave and slept for an hour.