Even more Silliness...

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The Haunting.
A Short Story.
Part Three.
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He knew deep in his heart that the only hope for the spiders lay with him. He was the one who had taken their greatest hope from them and he knew that if he was ever going to be able to look himself in the mirror again he would have to help them.

So, he told the spider he would fight.

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The spider was overjoyed when he told it that he would fight to save their world from being destroyed and it jumped up and down on his desk singing Itsy Bitsy Spider at the top of its voice.

"The brave warrior will fight!" The spider shouted. "We will be victorious! The spider race shall live on and General Bitsy's death will not be for nothing."

"Look, if you don't mind I'd rather you didn't keep calling me that. It's embarrassing." He said.
"Then what shall I call you brave warrior?" The spider asked.
"Well, most people call me Ross." He replied.
"Very well General Ross." Said the spider.
"Just Ross is fine."
"Very well then Just Ross." Said the spider.
"No... I meant that you should call me Ross. Not Just Ross."
"Not Just Ross, just Ross?" The spider asked, somewhat confused.
"Yes. Not Just Ross, just Ross."

After about fifteen minutes the spider finally realized what Ross had meant and they agreed that he wasn't to be called General Ross, Just Ross or Not just Ross. He was to be called Ross and nothing more.

"And what's your name?" Ross asked the spider.
"My name?" The spider asked.
"Yes, What is it?" Ross questioned.
"Correct." Said the spider.
"Ok then Correct. It's nice to meet you." Said Ross.
"No Ross, you misunderstand me. What is my name." The spider said.
"Your name is Correct." Ross said.
"I'm sure it is. There really wasn't any doubt that I'd get it wrong. What I do know is that it isn't Correct. What is my name." Said the spider.

After another five minutes Ross finally grasped that the spiders name was What and wasn't Correct as he had assumed. This made Ross' brain hurt and caused much confusion for at least a few minutes.

"So what do we do now What?" Ross asked.
"We must go to the Kingdom of the Spiders to tell the council that you will help us to fight." What said.
"And how do we get there?" Ross asked.
"We must go to your hall cupboard. It is there that we will gain entry to the Kingdom." What replied.
"What?" Ross questioned.
"Yes Ross?" What asked in reply.
"Damn this is confusing, what I meant was that I misunderstood you. I wasn't saying your name. I was merely questioning your suggestion that we can gain entry to the Kingdom of the Spiders by going to my hall cupboard." Ross said.
"Oh, I see." Said What. "There are many entries to the Kingdom of the Spiders but the easiest way is to go through a hall cupboard." What continued.
"Any hall cupboard or specifically my hall cupboard?" Ross asked.
"Any hall cupboard Ross. A hall cupboard is where we spiders gain entry to the Kingdom. The warm space is pleasant for us." What the spider said.
"Alright then." Ross said.
"Then let us go." Said What the spider.

What the spider jumped off the edge of the desk and landed on the floor next to Ross' feet and began walking towards the hallway. Ross stood up and began following the spider. The spider moved across the livingroom floor and was about halfway to the door when Ross spoke.

"What." He said.
"Yes Ross." What answered.
"Can I give you a lift?" Ross asked. "If I was carrying you we'd get there sooner."
"Sorry Ross but it against spider law for us be carried by humans." What replied.
"But if you go to the zoo you can hold spiders in your hands." Ross stated.
"These spiders have sold out. As you say in your language... They do no bite the hand that feeds them." What said.
"That's a silly law." Ross said.
"The council forbids it." What replied.
"Then you need to tell them that their law is wrong." Ross said.
"The council do not listen to the populace they are inflexible." What said.
"Then it's time you got them to listen."

Ross and What walked towards the hall cupboard. When they arrived at the hall cupboard Ross opened the door and his jaw dropped. Just inside the hall cupboard were thousands of spiders. They covered the floor and the walls and they hung from the ceiling on silken strands of web.

Ross shuddered as he had never seen so many spiders at one time. He knelt down on one knee and spoke to What. "What is this?" He asked.
"The Spiders have come to see their champion." What replied. "They now have hope for the future."
"I feel a bit overwhelmed by it all. Is there anyway you can ask them to go away?" Ross asked.
"Would you feel better if they went?" What asked.
"I would, yes." Ross replied.

What the spider stood up on its back legs and waved its front legs. The thousands of spiders that were in his cupboard disappeared into several holes in the walls. What the spider turned around to face Ross and spoke.

"Is that better Ross?" It asked.
"Yes. Thanks very much." He replied.
"Then we must enter the Kingdom." What said.
"How?" Ross asked.
"Step into the cupboard."
"What?" Ross questioned.
"Yes Ross?" What replied.
"Lets not go through all that again, how about I just call you W?" Ross said.
"Ok then. W it is." W said. "Now if you step into the cupboard we will be on our way."

W walked into the cupboard and headed for a hole in the base of the wall. "Come." It said.
"Ermmm, I've just noticed a small problem. Well, actually it's a large problem." Ross said.
"What would that be?" W asked.
"Well, that hole in the wall is only about half an inch high. I'm roughly five feet seven and a half inches too big for it." Ross said.
"This is not a problem." W stated.
"I'd say it was." Ross stated, matter of factly.
"We have a way around this. Please step into the cupboard." W replied.

Ross stepped into the hall cupboard. W climbed the back wall of the cupboard and was looking at Ross at eye level. Ross stood in his hall cupboard feeling somewhat silly and asked W how he was ever going to fit into a hole that was obviously way too small for him to fit into.

"So about this small large problem." Ross said.
"We have a way around it." W stated.
"And what would that be?" Ross asked.
"We are going to have you re-sized." W said.
"What?" Said Ross, slightly shocked.
"Yes Ross?" Said W.
"Once again, I wasn't saying your name I was asking you to restate whatever it was you just stated." Said Ross. "Maybe it'd be better if I learned to say pardon."
"I said we were going to have you re-sized. It is a painless procedure. All it takes is a small bite from me and you will be re-sized." W said.

Ross thought about this for a second and stepped out of the cupboard. He gathered his thoughts as W shot a thread of silk and swung onto the hall cupboard door.

"Is there a problem Ross?" W asked.
"Actually yes there is. I've never been very tall but asking me to be shrunk to only half an inch is a bit on the extreme side. How the hell am I going to explain that one to my family?" Ross said.
"Once the Wasps and the Daddy Long Legs have been defeated you will be re-sized to your normal height. As long as you survive the war that is." W said.
"You're installing me with not a lot of confidence here W." Ross said, as he pondered being shrunk to a half an inch and faced with the possibility that he may be killed fighting in a war that wasn't really his to fight.

Ross stood thinking for a few seconds about General Bitsy and his fighting spirit. Without General Bitsy to defend them the spider people were practically doomed. Ross took a deep breath and spoke.

"Ok then. Lets do this thing." He said.