Five drums and a set of pipes.

I nearly had a cerebral hemorrhage today.

I was sitting having a cigarette at the end of Princes Street listening to a Scottish band play music on the pipes and drums when a strong emotion overtook me. My heart was pounding and I began to sweat profusely. "What the fuck?" I thought. "What the hell is happening here? Have my years of abusing my body finally caught up on me?"

I closed my eyes and attempted to get my head straight. The music of the band banged in my head and I decided to use it as a grounding anchor. It did the trick. I felt my heart beat slow down and my temperature dropped to something close to normal.

I opened my eyes and scanned the crowd of people watching the band to see if anyone had noticed that I was shaking and breathing heavily like I had just run a marathon in record time. Luckily none of the observers were looking in my direction and I felt myself come back to earth.

As the band finished one tune and began on another I let my head get into the music. It was a simple band, three guys and one girl were playing various types of drums and one guy was playing the bagpipes, but I could feel the energy of this music coursing through me.

Suddenly I realized why it was that Scottish regiments are the backbone of the British army. It's because the sound of the pipes and drums being played as they walked into battle must have put the fear of God through the opposition.

I honestly think that if I was one of the opposing army and I heard the sounds of a Scottish regiment belting out a pre-battle tune I'd run like a demon in the opposite direction to which the Scottish regiment was marching. No matter if by doing so I would be hung, drawn and quartered for desertion. Being hung, drawn and quartered would be a walk in the park compared to the images that your mind would throw out if it heard the sound of the massed pipes and drums
coming over the hills in your direction.

It's no wonder that Scottish rebels against English rule had a reputation for beating the mortal piss out of the enemy. I'm against violence in general but if I was taken back in time to Bannockburn just before the battle began and I heard the pipes and drums calling me to take arms against oppression It'd only take a couple of minutes for me to become a screaming dervish hell-bent on beheading anything that wasn't wearing a kilt or had the looks of one of my countrymen.