Remember what the Dormouse said?

Feed your head...

Alice has arrived in the country. Alice is an old friend of mine whom I met through a friend of a friend of a friend of Albert Hoffman.

Even though I look forward to Alice dropping by there is still the overbearing fear that she and I won't hit it off as well as we did all those years ago. Alice is the kind of trip you can sometimes have too much of and it's been a while since Alice last visited.

Alice first crossed my path many moons ago in a pub far away...

It was the week before Christmas in The Oak lounge bar. The DJ was torturing the drinkers by
playing the standard list of shit tunes to play at Christmas, the landlord was drunk on large gin and tonics, the bar staff were in a party mood and my circle of friends were all there.

Sarah, Jackie, Wendy, Steff, Andy and I were at our usual table. I was sitting writing notes and joining in the conversations that were bouncing around the table. An old workmate of mine named Jimmy spotted me and attempted to shout something over the noise of Slade wishing it could be Christmas every day.

I couldn't hear what he was saying so I stood up on my chair, delicately placed my foot into the middle of the table (so as not to knock over the drinks) and used the arm of Steffs chair to get close enough to hear what Jimmy wanted to say to me. "There's someone I want you to meet." He said.

He told me to follow him. We walked outside and I asked who it was that he wanted to meet. He shushed me and began walking around the corner to the back of the pub. When we got to the carpark Jimmy turned to me and put out his hand. I automatically put out my hand and I felt a piece of paper fall into my hand.

"When you've read what it says; eat it." Said Jimmy. He began walking back to the light and warmth of the pub. I laughed at Jimmy's cloak and dagger tactics and opened the piece of paper. It was roughly the size of a stamp and was divided into four by small perforations.

On one side of the paper was a word.

Smile. It said.

I turned the note over and laughed when I saw four smiley faces grinning at me. I opened my mouth and ate the bit of paper, as I had been instructed and walked back to the pub. I pulled open the door, stepped into the warm lounge and headed back to the table. I looked around to see where Jimmy was but I couldn't see him. I pulled up a chair, sat down and reached over the table for my Scotch and lemonade.

I laughed out loud as I wondered what the cryptic note from Jimmy had meant. Jackie asked me what I was laughing at. I told the table what had just happened and they all began making jokes about me being some kind of spy and that if at the end of the night I'm bundled into a taxi they'd let my work know I might be a little late.

As usually happened when the table began making jokes things escalated into farce and within a couple of minutes we were all laughing hard enough to cause tears in our eyes and shortages of breath. I spotted Jimmy in the corner of the pub and I waved him over.

I introduced him to everyone at the table and he did the whole shake-hands-and-say-hi thing.
I asked him who it was that he wanted to meet and he laughed. "Did you do as you were instructed?" He asked. "Yes. I did as I was instructed." I said. He began laughing and I asked "What's the joke?"

"Ross, get ready to meet Alice." He said, standing up to leave.

I asked when I would get to meet Alice and he told me that I'd see her in about half an hour. I asked what she looked like. He laughed and said I'd recognize her when I saw her.

And, by god, did I recognize her.

I just hope that we can still be friends after all this time...