That good friends are hard to come by.
This is plainly a load of shite. Good friends are easy to come by. Take my friend Lyndsay "With an I" Broon. She's funny, intelligent, engaging, open-minded, free spirited and ever so slightly deviant. Just the way I like my friends to be...
Today Lyndsay and I met up for lunch at Negs where we spent an hour or so discussing many varied (and at times downright fucked up) subjects. She's no longer an employee of the club I used to work for as she was sick of being sexually harassed by committee members and pervert punters so we had a right good go at the swines for being morons who are hell bent on alienating their staff.
After a while the subject was dropped and our conversation strayed onto the subject of sex. Specifically, why she seems to get it so easy and why I haven't fucked anything with a pulse in the last 7 years.
...Jeebus, has it really been that long? Doesn't time fly when you're a hopeless romantic who can't find a woman who doesn't end up ripping your heart out your arse, throwing it in a blender and hitting frappe...
After lunch Lyndsay suggested we take a walk around the corner to Blackwells bookstore where we decided a book buying session was in order. My purchases were "White Man Falling" by Mike Stocks, "The Book of Dave" by Will Self and "Carter Beats the Devil" by Glen David Gold.
As the books were on a 3 for 2 offer I only spent £15.98 (a bargain in my eyes as I'm pretty sure all three are going to be great reads) and I've decided that my rereading of "To Kill a Mockingbird" can wait for a week or two.
As Lyndsay was meeting a friend an hour or so later we took a walk up the road to The Pear Tree where we spent an hour discussing topics that you normally only have with people you really know... "Which cartoon character would you like to fuck?" Etc etc etc etc... And people watching.
After Lyndsay and I parted company I took a leisurely walk along the road to Cockburn Street where I purchased two pairs of Aviator style sunglasses (£10 for 2 pairs) and continued to walk along Princes Street where I spent three hours sitting on the grass in the sun watching the world go by.
15 comments:
Okay, first, how about you and Lyndsay? Is she available?
All of the GOOD conversations always turn to sex and it's fantastic to have friends with whom you talk about this stuff with.
And my dear Ross, have I taught you nothing? The hair Ross, THE HAIR...play with a girl's hair. It makes us melt every time...you'll be getting some booty in no time!
Nice, nice, and nice. Now, aboiut those cartoon characters.... i must say that's a discussion I've never had, with anyone, not even by myself.... mmmmm
Salagtle!
Bigstar,
First, Lyndsay and I are friends and I'd hate to spoil that. (Secondly I don't think I'm her type.)
I have taken the hair thing onboard and will (if I ever get the opportunity) put the theory to the test.
Wreckless,
Don't tell me you've never looked at Judy Jetson/Louis Griffin/Wilma Flintstone and thought "If she was human or I was a cartoon I'd tap that ass"
Holy cow BigStar you are hysterical. I'm quite certain having drinks with you and Ross could quite possibly be one of the funniest evenings the three of us could ever have.
If you could only hear some of the conversations on Spurwink Ave....
I concur with the hair. I'm pretty sure the only reason I ever continued to talk to Mr. Houdini was because he played with my hair. Although, I do not think he could work his way out of what I saw last night just by playing with my hair. It's one thing to be absent, quite another to be absent with another girl.
Anyway, I say go for the hair. Any kind of soft touching of the tresses should do the trick.
I'm with you wreckless. I have never ever thought of a carton in any fashion other than inanimate (well more like unreal). I am sensing this is a theme with you Ross.....
I had a good time too son! Masochism, by the way, comes from the author Leopold Von Sacher-Masoch, who wrote Venus In Furs.
Ladies - Ross is dead nice, and has a burgeoning penchant for top-heavy redheads. So if you know, or indeed are, a busty carrot-top, go out with him. I am a very flat chested bald hermaphrodite so, you know, my luck is out. C'est la vie non?
Ladies and Gentleman I give you Lyndsay "With an I" Broon.
Friend, cohort, hermaphrodite and slaphead. (She hides it well.)
Cheers for the info on Masochism. I did intend on looking it up but was downloading Louis Griffin porn and didn't have the bandwidth...
I have no idea where the sudden fascination with top heavy redheads has sprung from as I've always considered gingers to be nothing more than a freak of nature. (The fact that my beard has a ginger tint to it is due to my strong celtic roots. Genetic roots that is not hair roots.)
Cupcake,
I'd like to clear the air and state that I do not have any kind of attraction to inanimate objects. It's just that sometimes the best conversation you'll ever have is with something that doesn't answer back.
Should you, bigstar and I ever meet up for a drinking session I promise faithfully that I shall refrain from chatting to anything that is incapable of answering me back. (This includes lampposts, shower curtains, TV's and animals.)kr
Cupcake,
We definitely need to cross the ocean and meet up for drinks...it would be hysterical! But alas, I've already let him in on they playing with your hair secret, so we all know what it would lead to.....
And sorry Ross, she's not a redhead, but I don't think you'd be disappointed!
Ross,
I am glad to hear your inanimate object situation is just for entertainment.
Lindsay, sounds like you should join us for drinks as well. I could see this getting a little crazy. Especially if we give BigStar shots of José.
It looks like BigStar would not disappoint if you're looking for top heavy, although she's a blonde. Rumor has it, she adores it when men (with or without morals) play with her hair as well.
Could you see us all in Latin America? I do not believe 'trouble' adequately describes how it would be.
Bigstar,
Feel free to fly across the ocean (I'd recomend an airplane as it's quite a distance to keep flapping your arms) to have drinkies with Lyndsay and I.
Cupcake,
I've always had an affinity with the inanimate objects of the world. (Maybe because I used to be one... I was a shelf in my previous life)
Bigstar and Cupcake,
Is it just me or are you both attempting to set me up with the other?
Well I ain't a top heavy red head either. I am a blonde with a man's chest...though I wax the hair.
Oh all right I am a redhead and can summon up a bit of cleavage with the aid of a good bra but top heavy I'm not as Ross well knows!
I can't speak for Cupcake, but yes, I can tell you that I'm trying desperately to set up the two of you! It's just that big thing called the OCEAN that's giving me the trouble!
Bigstar,
It moves me to think that someone somewhere holds the idea that I would be suitable material for dating someone they cared for.
As for the ocean thing... I did give consideration to draining it but then I hit the problem of where to store the water. My bathtub just aint gonna cover it...
I also am guilty as charged. Seriously Ross, we just want to keep you around!!
I trust that lack of posting is due to the fact that you have gone on vacation to Hawaii, and not because you couldn't be bothered....
Salagatle!
Cupcake & Bigstar,
You've no idea how touched I am that you both think I'm worthy enough of each other. Please let me know when you have decided who gets to have me.
Wreckless,
The lack of posting is down to my not having anything to write about. Call it writers block or something.
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