***********************************
A voice comes over the communications console. "You are being held in a tractor beam by the USSC. Our weapons are locked on your craft. Any attempt to arm weapons will be seen as an act of aggression and will be dealt with by the use of deadly force."
A figure jumps out of a recessed bunk and runs towards the main console. "Oh shit. Oh shit. Oh shitty fucking shit!" It shouts as it runs.
A head pops out of the recessed bunk and questions the noise. "Wha?" It says sleepily.
"It's the fucking USSC, we have to dump the cargo! If we get caught with all this contraband on board we'll spend the rest of our short lives in the Martian penal colony." Says the person poking buttons on the control panel.
The female in the sleeping bunk speaks. "Calm down will you, we don't have any contraband." She pulls on a vest and walks to where a seemingly calm man is sitting at the main flight console. "No contraband? He says.
"No. Not that it would matter if we did. You running up the middle of the ship shouting that we have to dump all the contraband would give it away to their audio sensors." She said.
"I know, I just like the feeling of knowing I just made their sensors go into overdrive." He said as she kissed him and sat down next to him.
"So Stockton, what do we do now?" The woman said.
"We wait for these swine to let us go about our business. Until then we are trapped. Like fucking wharf rats..." Stockton said.
"Wharf rats? Where the hell have you ever seen a wharf rat?" She asked.
"I haven't ever seen one... I just thought I had to say it."
The voice of the USSC came over the communication console. "Our scanners detect nothing out of the ordinary. Thank you for your patience. Please do not arm your weapons on the powering down of our tractor beam as this will be seen as an act of aggression and will be dealt with by the use of deadly force. Have a nice spaceday."
Stockton looked out of the spaceship and saw the planet beneath them above the craft. This always unsettled him for some reason. He flicked a switch on the console and the craft rolled gently over so that the ground, many hundreds of miles below them, was directly beneath his feet. He pressed a button and up popped a beertube. "Just another day floating in space with my woman." He thought.
His woman was sitting in the seat next to him and she was busy pressing buttons and scanning readouts. "We need supplies." He said. She was engrossed in her readouts and he had to repeat himself. "We need supplies." He said. Again.
She looked up at him and smiled. "We can stock up when we get to the next planet. Don't worry about supplies." She said. "Even at impulse power we are never more then a weeks traveling to the nearest planet. Besides, in this space region the USSC patrol the area regularly and if for some reason we get into trouble they can get to us quickly."
"It says here there is only enough beer for two weeks." He said as he pushed a button on the console.
"Yes, that's if you drank at a constant rate of 1 can per minute for the whole two weeks, I doubt even you could drink that much." She replied.
"You never know. Remember I've already seen the ice fields of Neptune, I may become bored." Stockton replied.
"And if you become bored on our honeymoon I'll kill you and dump your body in space." She said as she smiled at him.
Stockton pushed a switch on the console and the spacecrafts engines pushed them out of orbit and on their way to Neptune. The flight computer chirped into life. "Good day to you. All systems are running at 100% and we are destined for Neptune. Flight time at current rate of speed is 22hours 15minutes and 37.5seconds. Auto pilot engaged."
Stockton turned and looked at his new bride. "Well, what should we do now?" He said.
She laughed as she stood up and began stripping out of her clothes as she walked to the sleeping quarters. He smiled and followed her.
Half an hour later they were lying in each others arms getting their breath back when an alarm sounded in the main control room. "What the hell is it now?" He said as he pulled on his trousers and made his way to the console room. "I'll bet you any money it's the USSC again." He said as he walked along the short corridor.
As he approached the main console room he saw a bright wave of purple light sitting in space directly ahead of the ship.
"Computer." He said as he sat in the pilot seat.
"Online." Said the computer.
"What the fuck is that?" Stockton said.
"Restate." Said the computer.
Stockton cursed under his breath and wondered why he had paid for the ship to have his custom syntax loaded to the computer when it didn't work. "What is the purple swirly thing in front of the ship?" He said.
"Scanning" The computer said. "Scanner detects no anomaly." It continued.
"Then why is the alarm sounding." Stockton asked.
"The alarm sounding is your wake up call." The computer said.
"But I was already awake." Stockton stated.
"Alarm call was not cancelled." The computer said.
"Cancel all wake up calls." Stockton said. "Now rescan and tell me what the big purple swirly thing is." He continued.
"Scanning. Scan detects no anomaly." The computer said.
"Ali, you better get up here!" Stockton shouted to his wife, who was just walking into the control room.
"What the hell is that?" She said, as she noticed the anomaly in space ahead of them.
"The damned computer doesn't detect anything. It says it's not there." Stockton replied.
"Computer, scan on all frequencies space co-ordinates directly ahead." Ali said.
"Scan detects no anomaly." The computer said.
"So what do you think?" Stockton asked.
"Go around it." Ali replied.
"Balls to that, lets fly right through the bugger!" Stockton said. He banged his fist on the console and yelled at the computer. "Computer! Increase forward thrust!" He screamed as he began laughing.
The craft accelerated towards the purple light in space. And vanished.
A figure jumps out of a recessed bunk and runs towards the main console. "Oh shit. Oh shit. Oh shitty fucking shit!" It shouts as it runs.
A head pops out of the recessed bunk and questions the noise. "Wha?" It says sleepily.
"It's the fucking USSC, we have to dump the cargo! If we get caught with all this contraband on board we'll spend the rest of our short lives in the Martian penal colony." Says the person poking buttons on the control panel.
The female in the sleeping bunk speaks. "Calm down will you, we don't have any contraband." She pulls on a vest and walks to where a seemingly calm man is sitting at the main flight console. "No contraband? He says.
"No. Not that it would matter if we did. You running up the middle of the ship shouting that we have to dump all the contraband would give it away to their audio sensors." She said.
"I know, I just like the feeling of knowing I just made their sensors go into overdrive." He said as she kissed him and sat down next to him.
"So Stockton, what do we do now?" The woman said.
"We wait for these swine to let us go about our business. Until then we are trapped. Like fucking wharf rats..." Stockton said.
"Wharf rats? Where the hell have you ever seen a wharf rat?" She asked.
"I haven't ever seen one... I just thought I had to say it."
The voice of the USSC came over the communication console. "Our scanners detect nothing out of the ordinary. Thank you for your patience. Please do not arm your weapons on the powering down of our tractor beam as this will be seen as an act of aggression and will be dealt with by the use of deadly force. Have a nice spaceday."
Stockton looked out of the spaceship and saw the planet beneath them above the craft. This always unsettled him for some reason. He flicked a switch on the console and the craft rolled gently over so that the ground, many hundreds of miles below them, was directly beneath his feet. He pressed a button and up popped a beertube. "Just another day floating in space with my woman." He thought.
His woman was sitting in the seat next to him and she was busy pressing buttons and scanning readouts. "We need supplies." He said. She was engrossed in her readouts and he had to repeat himself. "We need supplies." He said. Again.
She looked up at him and smiled. "We can stock up when we get to the next planet. Don't worry about supplies." She said. "Even at impulse power we are never more then a weeks traveling to the nearest planet. Besides, in this space region the USSC patrol the area regularly and if for some reason we get into trouble they can get to us quickly."
"It says here there is only enough beer for two weeks." He said as he pushed a button on the console.
"Yes, that's if you drank at a constant rate of 1 can per minute for the whole two weeks, I doubt even you could drink that much." She replied.
"You never know. Remember I've already seen the ice fields of Neptune, I may become bored." Stockton replied.
"And if you become bored on our honeymoon I'll kill you and dump your body in space." She said as she smiled at him.
Stockton pushed a switch on the console and the spacecrafts engines pushed them out of orbit and on their way to Neptune. The flight computer chirped into life. "Good day to you. All systems are running at 100% and we are destined for Neptune. Flight time at current rate of speed is 22hours 15minutes and 37.5seconds. Auto pilot engaged."
Stockton turned and looked at his new bride. "Well, what should we do now?" He said.
She laughed as she stood up and began stripping out of her clothes as she walked to the sleeping quarters. He smiled and followed her.
Half an hour later they were lying in each others arms getting their breath back when an alarm sounded in the main control room. "What the hell is it now?" He said as he pulled on his trousers and made his way to the console room. "I'll bet you any money it's the USSC again." He said as he walked along the short corridor.
As he approached the main console room he saw a bright wave of purple light sitting in space directly ahead of the ship.
"Computer." He said as he sat in the pilot seat.
"Online." Said the computer.
"What the fuck is that?" Stockton said.
"Restate." Said the computer.
Stockton cursed under his breath and wondered why he had paid for the ship to have his custom syntax loaded to the computer when it didn't work. "What is the purple swirly thing in front of the ship?" He said.
"Scanning" The computer said. "Scanner detects no anomaly." It continued.
"Then why is the alarm sounding." Stockton asked.
"The alarm sounding is your wake up call." The computer said.
"But I was already awake." Stockton stated.
"Alarm call was not cancelled." The computer said.
"Cancel all wake up calls." Stockton said. "Now rescan and tell me what the big purple swirly thing is." He continued.
"Scanning. Scan detects no anomaly." The computer said.
"Ali, you better get up here!" Stockton shouted to his wife, who was just walking into the control room.
"What the hell is that?" She said, as she noticed the anomaly in space ahead of them.
"The damned computer doesn't detect anything. It says it's not there." Stockton replied.
"Computer, scan on all frequencies space co-ordinates directly ahead." Ali said.
"Scan detects no anomaly." The computer said.
"So what do you think?" Stockton asked.
"Go around it." Ali replied.
"Balls to that, lets fly right through the bugger!" Stockton said. He banged his fist on the console and yelled at the computer. "Computer! Increase forward thrust!" He screamed as he began laughing.
The craft accelerated towards the purple light in space. And vanished.
4 comments:
Bravo!
100%
Keep them coming!
Salagatle!
Cuzz...it's always good reading your stuff, but please allay our collective fears and tell us you're actually going to take this somewhere and finish it properly...
Wreckless,
Once again thanks for the positive reaction.
Steve-O,
I don't know if that one is able to go anywhere.
I'd post saying I wanted to hear the rest of it. But on the off chance I might get a reply saying "it's finished" which would make me feel like a dickhead, I'll just read what i can get from now on... =p
... but in saying that.. it's pretty good Ross!
=)
Post a Comment