Jump you fucker.

At 6am I dragged myself from my bed, after only three hours sleep, and hauled my sleepy self into the shower.

The water knocked me into something close to a state of consciousness. I finished my shower, wrapped a towel around myself, headed for the livingroom and lit a cigarette. I switched my stereo on and put some music on while I got dressed.

At about 6:50 my phone rang. My mother was calling to let me know that she'd be there in about ten minutes. I grabbed my stuff and left the house to go to the top of my road to wait for the car arriving. As the car approached I saw my dad at the wheel, my mum in the passenger seat and my friend Yvoone in the back looking like she was still half asleep.

The car stopped and my mum got out to let me into the back of the car and we headed off towards St Andrews.

We arrived at Skydive St Andrews at about 8:20am and Yvoone and I went to manifest to register for our jump. We checked in and were told to go grab a seat in the cafe. I sat with a cup of coffee for about two minutes and went outside for a cigarette. Yvoone and I stood outside having a cigarette and chatting while we waited to be called for our pre-jump training.

At about 9am the call came across the PA system. We walked over to manifest and one of the staff of the jumpcentre told us that as we had already had our training (when we were there the last time) he may come and get us while the training session was underway.

We went into the room where the rest of the tandem jumpers were waiting and sat down on the floor. The instructor went through the equipment we would all be using and gave us all a few laughs as he told us that the alarm that tells him when to pull the chute reaches the limit it says into his ear "Pull, fucker, pull."

The door to the training room opened and Yvoone and I were told to follow him. Yvoone issued a sort of panicked noise and I began laughing as the instructor told us to put on our jumpsuits. We were fitted with our harnesses and we walked out towards the runway.

We boarded the plane and took off. As we gained height the instructor that I was harnessed to pointed out RAF Leuchars and the old course at St Andrews. The view was incredible and I could make out the Bass Rock in the middle distance.

We got up to 10,000 feet and the instructor told me to help him open the door to the plane. It was jump time and there was no going back. I pulled the door open and the instructor told me to shuffle to the edge.

As I hung out of the plane dangling over the void the little voice in my head said "This isn't natural." A split second later I was falling towards the earth at about 130mph. I watched as the earth spun in and out of my field of view.

After what seemed like an eternity I heard the parachute pop open and I was jerked out of freefall. As the noise dropped I shouted to my instructor "That was fucking amazing." I looked up and saw Yvoone's chute floating gently above me. "Holy fuck, she did it." I said in amazement.

We floated towards the ground and the instructor asked me if I wanted to do a few turns. "Damn right I do." I said in reply. He handed me the guide ropes and I began pulling on them and we spun and turned so quickly that I could feel the g force drag my blood into my legs.

As we came in for landing the instructor told me to pull my feet up and get ready to land. We landed and slid to a halt on the dewy grass. I stood up and shook the instructors hand. "Thanks man, that was amazing."

I looked up to see where Yvoone was and saw that she was about to land. I heard her instructor tell her to get her feet up and they landed about fifty feet away. I gathered up my parachute with my instructor and we walked back towards manifest.

I was removed from my harness and took off my jumpsuit while Yvoone was removed from her harness. I hung up my jumpsuit and walked over to where my mum was standing smiling. "How was it?" she asked. I bent over and said "I may never have kids but fuck me that was fun."

I stood next to Yvoone and my mum took our picture. I bolted out of manifest and yelled at my dad. "Where are my ciggys?" He informed me that they were in the car and handed me the keys. I grabbed them and headed for the car to get my cigarettes when I was called back by my dad.

He told me that I had to get my certificate and I bolted for manifest again and was handed my certificate by my instructor. I said thanks again and shook his hand. We all headed back to the car and I finally got a hold of my cigarettes. I lit one up and handed another to Yvoone. She dragged deeply on it and I asked her if she enjoyed it. "It was great," She said, "But I'm never going to do that again.

I however, will be doing it again sometime in the future.