The early bird...

Catches the worm.

Or so they say. Who they are I have no idea but for some reason they always tell you things that are just plain old fashioned fucking stupid. An early bird doesn't catch the worm. No siree bob. The early bird flies out of the nest, lands on the grass (in an attempt to catch the worm) and is eaten by a fox because the bird is tired and should have had another hour in its bed.

I was the early bird this morning. At 6am I awoke... From a most enjoyable dream where I was kicking seven shades of shit out of a petty minded fucktard that it's my displeasure to know. Hey; No names, no pack drill... I rolled out of my bed and headed for the shower. I proceeded to attempt to wake myself from my slumber by stepping under the spray of water and switching the heating off on the water.

After about three minutes of the cold water bouncing off my head I was awake enough to scream at the top of my voice, "Holy fuck that water's colder than a hookers heart!" Which I took to be a sign that I was awake enough to handle the day ahead.

I switched off the shower, pulled a towel around myself and headed to the livingroom where I switched on my stereo and kicked out the jams. I dried myself off as I danced along to the sounds that were pumping out of my stereo and pulled on my jeans, my M*A*S*H 4077th T-shirt and my trainers.

About five minutes later I was on the bus headed into town with my MP3 player playing Snow Patrol, The Killers, Gorillaz, Keane, The Flaming Lips, The Kooks, The Fratellis, Kasabian, Bloc Party, The KLF, Muse, Radiohead and Mint Royale.

I got off the bus and headed for Snax cafe on West Register Street where I had a nice fried breakfast consisting of egg, sausage, hash brown, tattie scone, beans and blackpudding. All of which were washed down with a nice cup of tea.

I wandered along Prices Street smoking heavily and making my way towards Virgin so I could buy myself some new DVD's. The DVD's I bought were as follows...

• Pleasantville.
• Edward Scissorhands.
• Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.
• The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen.
• Dead Poets Society.

Then I nipped next door to GAME and got myself a couple of new games for the X-Box. After this I toddled off to catch the bus back home. All in all I have had a good day. I hope you have a good day too.