Breasts.
Tits. Hooters. Funbags. Chats. Boobs. Jigglies. Bazookas. Floppily doppilys. Ho-ho's. Call 'em what you will.
Personally I'm in favour of the epithet Juggs. It's such a heartwarming word don't you think? And so it should be. It describes such heartwarming things. And not just heartwarming either, I for one know that they don't just warm my heart. But, let's not get into that. It wouldn't be a pretty picture to implant in your minds.
There was a woman in the club tonight that had a pair of juggs so large it looked like she was smuggling 747 nosecones. The words that came out of my mouth when I saw her sitting were "Holy fuck, would you check out the puppies on her!"
Seriously, these were huge. But not overly huge, they weren't Lolo Ferrari huge, 'cos that's just wrong no matter how you paint it. These were all natural, god made pillows of fun that caught my eye, not to mention other parts of my anatomy, and I couldn't take my eyes off them.
When the woman in question came to the bar I flirted shamelessly with her, which is a rare thing for me... Well, not that rare to tell the truth, but that's immaterial at the moment... And she flirted back at me. I think. It's been that long since anyone flirted with me I'm fucked if I remember what it's supposed to be like. Anyhoo...
As she ordered the round of drinks for her company she set me up for a top quality line. "Do you have any nuts?" She said.
"That's a bit of a personal question isn't it?" I said. "We've only just met."
25 comments:
Does that mean that you are spoken for and that I have lost my chance!!!, can you figure out who this is
does that mean that you are of the market then or is there still a chance for me!!!
TUT TUT, LANGUAGE TIMOTHY
No-one has a chance with me Anonymous.
You know the old saying "No man is an island" I'm the exception to the rule.
Anonymous...you're starting to sound a bit desperate for him now! Lol!
Ahh, mother dearest.
(Or Gorebridgelady as you go by on here.)
If you scroll down to the bottom of my blog you'll see that there is a caveat warning the reader that these rantings are the views of me and me alone.
I'm not about to tone anything down purely because you think it's disgusting or base in some way.
And one question mark is quite enough.
P.S I still love ya.
Ooh look anonymous is at it again!! Lena it looks like you've got competition!
it's your loss then,
to Jenny, not desperate at all, 2nd message was an error
Sounds to me like Jenny is a bit "desperate", are you jellous of annon??? Come on girl, get a life
And talking of jelous, why do you mind Ross getting a bit of chat up???? As I said Desperation coming thru
Dear Kev,
I’ll happily admit to being desperate when it comes to Ross. Like Momma and his lovely Sis I’d dearly love to see him with a great woman…desperately so in fact! Now I’m not saying that Anon (that’s the way you shorten it by the way - one ‘n‘ not 2!!) is not nice but if she or he is and actually wished to take matters further with Ross then why hide behind anonymity??? As for your thought that I might mind Ross getting a bit of a chat up as you eloquently put it…I can only assume you don’t read much of this blog otherwise I’m sure you’d be aware that Ross has a devoted female following who regularly give him a bit of chat up! (Loving the new hair Ross, you look even more handsome and who knew that was possible when you're already a god!)Anyway I’d love to chat some more but sadly I have a life to be getting on with!
Best Wishes, Jenny x (p.s just for future reference the word is spelt Jealous)
To Anonymous,
I will assume that unlike Kev you are actually in possession of a sense of humour and will therefore be aware that Lol at the end of a comment means it should be taken as humorous! I hope he figures out who you are…who knows you may well be Miss Right!
Jenny x
Jenny
Thanks for that, you never know, but unless ross wants to meet up, we will never know if I am Miss Wright.
Ps, I have a sense of humour!
Ross
If you read this and want to find out who this is, then please put in a comment
Getting back to the original topic at hand (or both hands, if you prefer), I like to call them "Happy Jugs" or "Jumblies". I've always been a breast man, myself...
This is better than a novel, getting very interesting, (Tootsie Lady) any ideas Jenny.
Well Mrs D your boy thought Tootsie may be someone you know and have tried to set him up with! Tootsie now thinks Ross might know who she is from her log in. This mystery could be near resolution! I'll keep an ear open Mrs D!!
Hi Jen, nought to do with me, but if I find anything out I'll let you know.
Hi Ross, who is this do you know?
Hi Tootsie Lady, nice to meet you, my son is a lovely boy. best of luck. Me I just want some more grandkids.
momma
xxx to all
Ross boy put your momma out of her misery and get a bird, get a life and get a kiddie.
This is getting interesting Ross, who is your mystery lady, we are holding our breath. love momma
While I'm here I feel I should point out in the intrests of fairness to all that Ross actually does have a female he'd like to get to know a bit better...but she happens to be my wee sister!! I'm not sure about Mrs D getting any grandkids out of that match though...can you imagine mixing my family gene pool with his? The wee scone would be too good looking and intelligent for it's own good coming from such good stock!!
interesting!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(Comment removed by Jenny. Reposted in the interests of fairness.)
Tootsie, I feel the time has come to give us a hand here! The clues are vague! All we know is that Mrs D may or may not have met you! So if you HAVE met Mrs D does that mean you know Ross through his family life or through his working life? Give us a clue!!
this has gone on long enough, leave the poor lad alone all of you, including his "mum".
If he wanted a bird he would get one, he doesn't so that is the end of that, if the poor looser who is chasing him can'g get a fellah, tough. This is to stop. Piss of the lot of you. I have been reading this blog for a long time and up till now have really enjoyed it. Face it girls your annoying Ross and your Annoying me and a few others.
Alfredo
Oh check out Alfredo getting all narked!
Who knew Ross had a gay following?
Oh and if I may make a suggestion while I'm here...
Alfredo if you don't like what you're reading in these comments my advice would be to follow your own good advice and piss off. There's plenty of other parts you could be reading.
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