Barry Scott, star of TV's Cillit Bang ad campaign, is to star as "Flash" Harry in a modern day remake of the 1954 classic movie The Belles of St Trinians.
The director of the remake is rumored to be Gus Van Gusvan Goosefan, a little known Ukrainian director whose only directing experience came last year when he was asked to do the Ukrainian version of the Cillit Bang commercial.
Gus Van Gusvan Goosefan told a reporter that he was "Moore dan hippy to be doink of the filming of ze moofee. Pearhops know eye vill be abill to be maykink ze feelm eye haff dreamened off maykink sinks eye vas a yung bouy abowt der live of der moist faymouse Ukranian in der vorld."
When asked who the most famous Ukrainian in the world was Mr Gus Van Gusvan Goosefan screamed at the reporter in Ukrainian and stormed out of the interview. Later, the reporter was informed by a kindly Ukrainian maid that the most famous Ukrainian in the world was, in Gus Van Gusvan Goosefans opinion, Andy Warhol.
When it was pointed out by the reporter that Andy Warhol was in fact born in America the maid spat in the face of the reporter, threw a chamberpot in his face and made claims that she would kill the reporters family, his friends and the people who used the same telephone company.
Mr Barry Scott was tonight unavailable for comment.
Kindly reviewed by Cassie.
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