This is the piece of writing that I did at the request of my Brother. I think it's shit and doesn't deserve the space but who am I to question what the readers want?
The Edinburgh International Festival begins soon.And that's it. I did warn you that it was shit but did you listen? Oh no, you had to have it your way didn't you? Well I hope you're happy. I couldn't have shit on a stick but you'd want some...
Edinburgh metamorphoses from its normally shabby grey color to become a city filled with jesters and merrymakers. Famous faces mince and mingle along the high street inches from such famous landmarks as John Knox House, Holyrood Palace and Edinburgh Castle.
It's always colorful when the festival is on. The influx of Actors, Stand-Ups and Australian bar-staff trebles the population and you get the feeling you can do almost anything. If you've ever had a hankering to walk down the street dressed as a nun whilst singing dirty songs at the top of your lungs Edinburgh, during August, is the place to be.
Founded in 1947, as a post war initiative to re-unite Europe through culture, the Edinburgh International Festival has grown into the biggest Arts festival in the world. Theatre, comedy, music and dance all play a large part within the Festival.
Many a dazzling career in comedy has been started at the Festival with comedians such as Bill Hicks, Emo Phillips, Dylan Moran and many others playing Edinburgh at the start of their careers to rave reviews from critics. This years festival comedy performances include such artists as Boothby Graffoe, Jason Byrne, Jimmy Carr and Dwight Slade. All of which are doing stand-up shows.
If Stand-Up Comedy isn't your bag then how about a little sampling of Opera? Or perhaps a musical? The Edinburgh festival covers a wide range of both. Ballet and modern dance also make an appearance in the Festival.
If music, dance, comedy and theatre are not your cup of darjeeling then you'll be pleased to know that Edinburgh also has an international book festival which takes place between the 13th and the 29th of August. Authors such as Iain Banks and Quintin Jardine will be attending along with hundreds of other international authors.
The Festival has also seen more than its fair share of controversy, with calls for shows to be stopped due to indecent material or social taboos being questioned a regular occurrence. Most recently the Jim Rose Circus was the recipient of a public outcry due to the nature of the show being branded as nothing more than shock for shocks sake. Needless to say, the controversy surrounding it guaranteed that the show would sell out.
In the interests of constructive criticism here is the reply I got from my brother.
It's fine for a starting point, but at the moment it's just a big list of stuff in the Fringe - it lacks the human small-scale touch of your report on the G8 nonsense. You need to put yourself in it more, or rather you need to put instances on a sufficiently minor key that people reading will get a *real* idea of what you're writing about, without having to know who Jim Rose or whoever is. Ask yourself - if they don't know any of the acts mentioned, exactly what does your piece tell a vistor/reader about Edinburgh during the Festival (a more interesting subject than 'What is the Festival' in any case)?Any more comments on this piece are welcomed. Personally I think Stuart is right in his opinion that it lacks the feel of the G8 related piece I did.
4 comments:
Cuzz...in the interest of constructive criticsm, I have to agree with Stuart. The piece is well-written, but basically only tells me there's a festival of some sorts on. It reads like a column in the "happenings" section of a tabloid. Your limited use of alliteration in the start ("famous faces mince and mingle...") kept me reading, but from there it sort of lost my attention a bit (I also don't know who half your comedians are)...with a rating of 5 out of 10, keep at it... ;-)
Glad you posted it. Thank you. Anyway I feel I now need to add my comment,so here goes...Your first few paragraph's were good, they were giving a feeling of how Edinburgh is during the festival. ights and sounds. After that it moved to, as Steven said, a "what's on" piece. Remember though people do get paid to write "what's on" columns! This sort of challenge is great for you...the more you write the better it will be and if you allow others to occasionally dictate what you write about your writing style will probably develop. Imagine how tricky it would be for you (with your well placed views!) to make something like Bowling seem exciting, intresting and fun!
Of course I am no great writer myself so who gives a fuck about my opinion? Lovin your work.
Yes, I also believe that Stuart is right. The G8 piece is great. If you were to approach the Festival in the same way, ie. first person, beer in hand, talking to people (and cops), asking yourself what it is about this Festival that makes it so damn funny and shocking, this piece could aspire to similar, if not much greater heights.
I've taken on board the critisism that this piece has generated and as such will be re-writing it in the next few days.
I was particularly gripped by the idea that I should do this piece as a first person view as I feel I write better when I am writing about an experience rather than writing about something that is in the future.
With the festival begining soon I may put off writing this bit until I have lived an actual experience that I can write about. Plus it'll give me the chance to blag a ticket for a show and spend the day wandering around edinburgh with a beer in my hand.
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