Every once in a while I dream of my first love. There's probably nothing behind it but it really disturbs me and throws my Karmic centre off kilter.
What should probably scare me more is that every time I do dream about her I always go to my PC and try in vain to find a way to contact her. I'm not quite sure whether doing so is a good thing or a bad thing.
I did exactly that yesterday morning after waking up. I got out my bed, switched on my PC and started to search for her. God only knows why I even tried to find her using my PC. I have trouble finding google at the best of times. Ohh how I hate my computing abilities. But I digress...
Is the act of dreaming about her a sign from my subconcious... Telling me I have ties that can never be severed completely? That I have unresolved issues? Is my inner child alone on a sea of doubt? Or is it just a recurring dream that serves me to keep looking for that elusive thing called love? Fucked if I know.
I know, that there is a part of me that tugs upon out-of-tune heartstrings. I wonder if she has that same feeling? Can I ever possibly find out the answer to that, or any other, question? God knows. And God aint tellin jack shit. That's not His department. He's too busy being the supreme being, He's got shit to do. Solar systems to create and destroy, Suns to supernova, Galaxies to create, Cable TV to watch; Whatever.
For all I now she may have once had a dream of me and kicked her PC to life and done a search for me. If she has then chances are higher that she'll find me. So K if you are reading this...
Drop a line.
No comments:
Post a Comment