GENESIS.

In the begining there was nothing. quite a lot of nothing really.
Then there was a small spark of something.
(It may not have been a spark at all. It may have been a small "POP" or even a sort of splodgyslurpy noise...)

Then, some ten billion years later, I was concieved. (Accompanied by a splodgyslurpy noise if my fathers account is to be trusted.)