We'd stopped to fill up the cars as we drove from Tampa to Miami. My sister was driving one car and my dad was driving the other. I'd been designated gas monkey so I filled the car that my dad was in and then began to fill the other car. Sarah rolled down the window of the car and began speaking in a redneck accent.
"If'n y'all clean ma windshield I'mma gonna give y'all a dollah." She said.
"A whole dollah? Why I'd do damn neah anythang for a dollah missy." I replied.
"Well if'n y'all clean ma windshield wif yo boobs I'mma give you five dollahs and if you jump up on heah and clean ma windshield wif yo ass I'mma gonna give y'all ten dollahs."
From there on in it continued...
"Hoo-eee missy. I'd like to introduce y'all to ma wife and sistah. That's her right over theah."
"Mah little girl is so talented, she can sing real good out both her mouths."
"I got's me three kids, one of each."
"I'm real proud of my kids, I'm always asking them to gimme six."
When the gas pump finished I went into the store to buy a pack of cigarettes. Sarah pulled the car in behind the other car and as I passed I knocked on the passenger window. Cousin Angie rolled the window down and I spoke.
"A'hm real sorry missy but ah caint do y'all windscreen. Mah mantitties are lactatin."
3 comments:
LOL....I can just hear Angie's reaction...starts and ends with "F".
Awww man I am so jealous reading this! I had planned to ignore this blog totally for a while to avoid all this Florida stuff for my own sanity...I mean it can affect a girl...she's sitting here dealing with contractors, suppliers, cleaning, stocking, painting and generally getting more demented by the hour...and just 9 hours away is the Amazing Adventures of Spiderman, the Kraken, Sheikra and Dudley Do-Rights Ripsaw Falls - not to mention Old Navy, Cocoa Beach, Ponderosa's Buffet and Typhoon Lagoon and I can't get there. Gutted. :)
Glad ya'll are enjoying yourselves babes. Give my love to Momma and the gang.
See you soonly hun. xx
Cheers Jen..... P. xx
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