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11/30/2007

Dear future Self...

Hello Fucko,
How goes it? All well and good I hope. If not; It's probably your fault for being a fucking layabout for the majority of your life. Does that sound harsh? If so, fuck ya, it's supposed to. I'm hoping that by the time you re-read this you've put yourself to some kind of good use and achieved something in your life. If not then you should be fucking ashamed.

Perhaps I should have taken a little time to refresh your memory of what is happening in your life at the time you are writing this...

You're currently single, unemployed and in a deep funk with regards to the state of the world. You're spending way too much time locked in your own little insular world. Your bed has become a refuge to hide from the world and you've got less direction in your life than a Satellite Navigation System that was won at a Gypsy fairground. You've been unemployed for almost a year following all that hoo-hah with the bowling club and you're struggling to find a reason to get out of bed in the morning.

To cut a long story short, you're fucking sinking son...

There is every possibility that the drugs ain't helping much either. I know, I know... You want to squeegee your third eye and see but even I can see that you should slow down. I mean, for fucks sake you're writing a letter to your future self and are referring to yourself in the third person.

That can't be good. Seriously, can it? (That's a sentence that could have such a different meaning by changing the punctuation. "That can't be good. Seriously. Can it.")

Can it. Knock it on the head. Pack it in and fucking grow up. Get some direction in your life, find something to keep you occupied, get off the dope and set about life with the same vim and vigour as you are currently putting into ripping the piss out of yourself.

Who knows, you may just surprise yourself.

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

Feck me I've been telling you that for freaking years you tube!

Get yer lazy ass up and go fecking have a life.

No excuses. Yer young, single and able bodied. Feck me man. You'll wake one day in about a decade's time and regret it if you don't.

I fecking despair of you I really do.

And with every passing day you wallow a tosser in a tie and cardigan wins....that in itself is reason to be all you can be.

And with that thought I shall leave you...

Remember in the immortal words of Yazz...The only way is up!

Hahahahahahahahaha!

Anonymous said...

I think you need a hug. Don't be hard on yourself and start with baby steps. Maybe getting out of the house regularly will help. You might need a little trip to cheer yourself up. FEEL BETTER!!

Unknown said...

Anon,
Thanks for the encouraging words. Never before has such a delicate subject been logically contradicted in such a way.
I have truly seen the light oh wise one. Joy be praised to you and your deciples. (Of which I'm sure there are twelve in number. Word of warning, one of those fucks is gonna stab you in the back...)

Unknown said...

Cupcake,
Ahhh, a hug. I think I remember what one of those feels like... (An unquestionable love wrapped in acceptance and tied with a big frilly bow of humanity... Am I right? Set me straight if I'm not.)
The main nub of the problem as I see it (And at this present moment it has taken 3 very good punches to the face by my best friend... Long story, don't ask.) is I have no self confidence. Christ, I read your blog and think "Jee it must be wonderful to be young, good looking and have direction in life" but cannot accept that in everyones life there are highs and lows.
I'm sure even you, on occasion, feel the darkness closing in. Despite the fact that I am unwilling to accept that someone as nice as you are would be subject to such base emotions. (I hope you can see the high esteem in which I hold others but not myself.)
This problem is, indeed, in need of a hug. A hug, in my humble opinion, is a medicine that cannot be bottled.

Take care pretty lady.

Yours, (Filled with half a litre of 57% proof rum, nursing a sore jaw and possibly facing a large hangover...)

Ross.

Anonymous said...

Calm down treacle.

Delicate subject? What's delicate about it? It seems pretty clear by your own admission that you are "fucking sinking". That your single, unemployed and living an insular exsistence.

Dismiss my opinion if it makes you feel better. Refer to your self made situation as delicate in a bid to jusify that situation to yourself if that's what floats your boat. Paranoia setting in Ross.

My comment was not a criticism of you but an observation nd a rally call. There is nothing standing in your way but you. Delicate situation? No. Mild depression? Maybe. Life is full of people who make excuses. It'd be a shame to be one of them. Talent is given for a reason.

I suggest you re-read the post. You know there's an issue and you know what you need to do to rectify it. This life and world you write about is out there.

Look at that list of things you want to do. They won't be achieved by hiding or denial.

And believe me you have no reason at all to warn me about my back. I think I've shown it's foolish to underestimate me. A fact you'd know if you could see past the paranoia and actually work out who this is.

Best wishes for a speedy recovery from your current bout of self pity.

Anonymous said...

Sad thing is, it won't be the first time you've read this wee post out in your head mate, but fuck it, you may be single, unemployed and just a waste... or you could be a cunt croaking for my coppers on Princes St, a right fucking nonce, or a million other things worse than what you are... Best thing is to reassess yourself in a more positive format, identify some realistic direction you want to follow in your life, by realistic stuff that you can see yourself accomplishing in a month or so... just to get going.

Self-confidence thing I can relate to though, but I've my equivalent of three smacks by the best mate and am just chasing the direction I want to be following now, so far... its going well. It could always be better.

Thing is, life could always be better, if you ever turn and think, fuck it, this'll do, you've stopped living... and whats the point of living if you don't feel alive.

Yours, without trying to sound condescending or dogoody with cliche comfort statements.

Anonymous said...

Ross,

Speaking as someone who was sinking fast two years ago...oh I don't know if I can offer any advice, I'm crap at offering advice. Some nurse I'm going to make..
Just keep going. Treat yourself kindly, go for a walk and get some fresh air, try to eat well. It worked for me...as did realising that my future belonged to me and it was up to me what I did with it.
Take care of yourself Ross.

Unknown said...

Anonymous,
Firstly I'd like to offer you an appology for my terse words. I really shouldn't reply to comments on my blog when I've had a drink.
Thanks for the advice. (and the chastisement. I deserved it.)

Jamie,
Wise words indeed. Consider them heeded.

Manc_lover,
Thanks H.