In my home town of Edinburgh a smoker was fined £25 for throwing away a cigarette end.
What The Fuck is up with that?
Is my country so concerned about the heath of the nation that it’s now trying to stop us from smoking by making sure we can’t afford it? After all, taxing us up to the hilt hasn’t worked, neither has banning tobacco advertisements on the TV, so is this their new flanking manoeuvre in the war against smoking?
Maybe it’s just another way to prevent global pollution? Just think of all that nasty stuff that we smokers belch into the atmosphere, all those nasty chemicals that we spew forth whenever we light one up.
We are nasty, dangerous people to associate with; We cough all the time; We smell like ashtrays; We have bad breath; We are prone to cancer, TB and other nasty diseases; We are at greater risk of heart attacks, strokes, aneurysms and internal brain explosions; Our arterial passages are dangerously constricted; We can’t run worth shit; We wheeze like asthmatic warthogs when we sleep; We have brown stained fingers; Our homes have a permanent cloud base to rival Everest and we hack up disgusting balls of phlegm at the most inappropriate times.
Oh yeah... And we also pay more towards the health service than those health and fitness freaks that have somehow convinced themselves, that by eating well, not drinking alcohol and jogging regularly, that they’ll live forever.
What I’d like to know is why are we smokers being pursued and hunted down like a rabid dog when there are huge global conglomerates pumping more pollution into the atmosphere in a day than any of us smokers will manage in a lifetime?
Oh yeah, I remember now, it’s ’cos they make money for the government. (Who, by the way, are linked with those same companies and conglomerates.)
What exactly will the fines be used for? Bins or ashtrays to put our cigarette ends into?
Don't be fucking stupid.
The money will be spent in the same way as all the speeding fines that are generated by those lovely Gatso cameras... It will be used to hire ever more uniformed eunuchs whose soul pleasure is to make us feel like a second class citizen because we have exercised our right to freedom of choice.
Cough up in more ways than one friend...
*originally posted on my old site*
1 comment:
Hey Cuzz,
I've had this happen to me before. I found that the best way to deal with it was to pull in front of the offending driver at the next set of lights/junction put the bike on its stand and go and ask the guy if he intended on trying to kill me.
The Vespa is currently being fixed over in Fife.
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