The next day...

I awoke from the most intensely real dream I had ever had in my life.

In the dream I was witness to my own marriage to Her, my life with Her, Her giving birth to three beautiful children of mine and many years of us growing old together. I watched days fly by in the blink of an eyelid, I saw weeks skip past like I saw my children skip along a country path, I saw years pass as we both watched many sunsets and I saw Her beside me all the way.

I smiled and laughed as the realisation dawned on me like the sunrise streaming through the gap in the curtains that covered the window to the real world. I had been shown The Dream, all I needed to do was make it a reality.

I swung my legs out of bed and pulled on my work clothes and my boots. In only three hours I would see Her. While wandering to work along the old railway line I thought about the night before. Those perfect hours in Her presence played in my mind over and over again. The words She had spoken, the feelings I had felt and the sense of Her touch upon my body all floated through my mind and made my heart Beat.

As I walked into the entrance hall of the Zoo one or two of the early starters said "Hello." I didn't hear them. I was millions of miles away wandering along in a perfect world with my perfect partner. I could feel Her heartbeat as She lay sleeping in the same early morning light I walked through. If I focused my spirit I could match my heartbeat to Hers and I could feel time beginning to lose its meaning.

As I pushed open the door to the Members House I heard Louise swearing loudly at the two rottweiler guard dogs that inhabited the office overnight. "If you keep swearing at those dogs they're gonna rip your cunt out one morning when you least expect it." I said, as I passed the office door.

Louise said good morning between swearwords as I began walking towards the storeroom office where I threw my jacket and got to work. The first thing I had to do in the morning was give Alex in the canteen the stores he needed for the day so I went to the fridge, grabbed some large cartons of milk and the rest of his list and pulled open the door that lead downstairs to the staff canteen.

"Heads up Alex!" I shouted. Alex appeared around the door at the bottom of the stairs and got ready to catch the carton of milk I had sent sliding down the banister. "Alright?" Alex questioned. I answered him by telling him that the sun was shining, the air was wonderful and there was joy in the world. "Are you going to share that joint?" He said.

"I'm not stoned man, strange though it may seem." I replied.
"I know you too well Ross, you can't function without some kind of chemical coursing through your system." Alex stated, as I slid a roll of slicing sausage down the banister. I picked up the tray of eggs that I had laid at the door and walked down the stairs.

I grabbed a roll off the counter, buttered it heavily and put three link sausages onto it. Alex slid a cup of coffee into my hand and we popped outside to have a cigarette. "So..." Alex began. "Are you going to share that joint in your pocket or are you going to keep it all to yourself?" He continued.

"I told you man, I'm not stoned. I'm just happy." I said.
"Aye, and I'm the next guy in line for the papacy." Alex said. I inhaled deeply and once again told Alex I hadn't been smoking a joint on the way to work as usual and was merely in a good mood. Alex continued to disbelieve me and after a few minutes of silence from me let it go.

I finished my roll, my coffee and my cigarette and headed back upstairs to do the stores for the rest of the building and told Alex to keep a full breakfast for me for my lunch. Alex said he was getting complaints from the keepers that they couldn't get a full breakfast at lunchtime and I told him that he could tell them to eat shit.

The next couple of hours passed in a blur as I made sure I did as much work as possible so I had as much free time as possible to spend with Her. Not that I had free time as such, I had no such thing in the eyes of my bosses but what I did have was the ability to skive off. The more I did when She wasn't there was more time I could spend with Her when She was there.

At ten to nine I had finished stocking up all the departments and the kiosks, had delivered the mail and the milk to the main offices at the bottom of the hill, been to the bank and deposited the previous days takings and had done everything I needed to clear me to skive for the next three hours. She was due in at nine o'clock and I could spend the next three hours with Her.

Nine o'clock came and went without Her making an appearance. I figured that She must be running late and made my way up to the office to show face and to cover myself for the next three hours when people would have difficulty finding me. Louise told me that the boss wanted me to take the dogs up to the top of the hill for their morning stroll, shit and slash and that after I'd done that I was to get the till for Kiosk 2 and open it up.

I quickly checked the rota for the kiosks and saw that She had been down to work in kiosk 2. "Why have I to open Kiosk 2?" I asked.
"One of the students has phoned in sick. you need to cover for them." Louise informed me.
"Who hasn't shown up?" I asked, hoping that She was covering the kiosk of the person who had called in sick and had been moved to a different kiosk.
"The Irish girl. Her flatmate phoned in and said she's been throwing up constantly since early last night. He reckons it was the curry they had for dinner. Apparently he's had to phone in to his work sick as well." Louise said.

There must have been a strange look on my face as Louise questioned if I was OK. "I'm fine. It's just that..." I began. "Nothing." I stated, knowing She couldn't have spent the previous night at home throwing up. If I let this slip to Louise it'd be common knowledge all around the department in a split second. The catering department was a hotbed of gossip at the best of times.

I took the dogs for their walk at the top of the hill and stood smoking a cigarette whilst I looked out over the west side of Edinburgh. If I looked to the south west I could see the area in which I knew She was. Thoughts played on my mind. Had I upset Her? Did my declaration of love scare Her so much that She couldn't face me? Had I fucked up the perfect dream that I had been shown in my sleep during the night?

As these and more thoughts passed through my mind I felt the cigarette burn my fingers. I hadn't even took a drag on it. I had lit it and had sunk so deep into my mind that I had forgotten about it. The pain wasn't as bad as the pain my mind was creating by thinking the thoughts that it was.

I called the dogs and told them to get into the van. They hopped into the back and lay down for the short drive back to the Members House. I parked the van, checked that there was no-one waiting for assistance at the office so as not to scare the living piss out of them by walking in with two large, ferocious and foaming at the mouth rottweilers, dropped the dogs off and got the till for kiosk 2.

The rest of my day was spent in the kiosk. I served customers like a robot as my mind spun and whirled with questions. At four o'clock one of the other kiosk workers appeared and let me finish my shift. I walked down to the members house and saw Louise getting into her car to go home. I called to her and asked her if she could give me a lift down to The Struan. I was in need of a drink.

Louise said that she'd drop me off at the bottom of the hill and we climbed into the car. As we made our way down the hill Louise mentioned that I didn't look half as happy as I had earlier on and I tried to tell her it was nothing. Louise, being Louise, didn't let it go. "Honestly Lou, it's nothing." I said.

She informed me that as the driver of the car she was pretty much in charge of whether or not I was getting dropped off at the Struan or being abandoned in the middle of nowhere and that unless I wanted to find myself facing a long walk home I should spill the beans. I conceded the point and told her if she came into the Struan I'd tell her all about it if she promised not to blab it all over the catering department. Louise agreed and drove the couple of hundred yards to the Struan.

We sat at the table in the corner where all of the catering department sat after finishing their respective shifts and I told her all about it. She listened to my story with rapture. The only sounds she made were small gasps of ooo, ahhh and the occasional awww. At one point I looked into her eyes and I saw a small tear welling up in the corner.

"You OK?" I asked.
"It's just that it all sounds so romantic. It's like a fairytale and you're one of the main characters." Louise replied.
"Tell me about it. I'm in deep Lou; I'm in deep and I don't want it to end." I responded.