From the mouths of bairns...

Kids do the damnedest things.

Like drop you right in the shit and embarrass the hell out of you.

On Wednesday night I popped along to my mate Steff's to while away a few hours chewin the fat and putting the world to rights. Zoe (Spodge) had to go to her Yoof Club (apparently yoof is the new way to spell youth. Bloody kids, knocking hell out of the English language to sound like they are the next generation...) so Steff, Zoe and I jumped in the car and drove around to Carrickvale Community Centre.

As we approached the Community Centre I spotted a rather dishy blonde and let fly with a yell of "Hey Blondie" (It's a thing I do, yell out "Hey Blondie" whenever I see a blonde. The voice I use is like a cross between Sloth from The Goonies and Dezi Arnaz from the old TV show "I Love Lucy" It cracks me up. I dunno about anyone else...)

Zoe (Spodge) immediately piped up with "You fancy her!"

I said I'd hardly seen her and waited until Steff had drawn the car to the curb before remarking that she (the blonde) was indeed quite cute. Cue Zoe running into the youth centre, straight up to the woman in question and telling her that I fancied her.

Having dropped Zoe off and getting out of there Steff and I popped around to Oswaldo's to watch the football (Celtic v's AC Milan.) After the football finished we jumped back into the car and went back around the corner to pick Zoe up.

As we were about to step out of Oswaldo's garden my mobile rang. It was Zoe asking "Where are you?" I told Zoe we were on our way around and to calm down to a panic. A couple of minutes later we arrived in the street that the community centre is located in and saw that Zoe was standing waiting with aforementioned blonde.

As Steff turned the car around at the end of the street I said to Steff "I hope you realise I'm going to kill your child."

Steff pulled the car to the curb and wound the window down on his side of the car. The blonde leaned down and spoke to Steff about a pyjama party that the kids were going to have the next again week and I chipped in with "Can I come."

As she leaned down to speak I could see that she was checking me out. "Hmm..." I thought, not too bad. In fact, quite cute indeed. As Zoe jumped into the back of the car she shouted, and I do mean shouted, "SHE'S TWENTY SIX!" causing me to say that she was as subtle as being hit in the head with a brick.

And so I'm lumbered with a choice. Should I pop around to Carrickvale on Wednesday coming and chance my arm?

Let me know what you think by leaving a comment.