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12/15/2006

On a bus...

..."So I was like, naw. And she was like, Aye. And I was like, away and fuck off radge. And she was like, aye d'ye think so? And I was like, aye ah fucking know so. And she was like, Dinnae think so. And I was like, you'd better fuck off or I'll glass yeh ya fuckin whore. And she was like, calling me a whore aye? And I was like, aye ah um ya manky wee slag. And she was like, ootside then ya tart. And I was like, C'moan then bitch. And she was like, 'moan then. And I was like, 'moan then. And she was like, 'moan then. And I was like, right now then. And she was like, 'moan then. And I was like, ootside then radge. And she was like, 'moan then."

It was at this point in the conversation between the two teenage girls that I felt I should interject. I tapped the girl who was speaking on the shoulder and she turned her head around and said, "What?"

"If you insist on talking," I said, "Please, do everyone a favour and do it somewhere else. If I hear "And she was like" one more time I'll punch you in the back of the head so hard that the only thing "you'll be like" is a coma victim."

For the rest of the journey it was extremely quiet.

2 comments:

Divemaster GranDad said...

And here in SA, they have such fun to look forward to...once the Govt gets its unionised finger out and actually puts a public transport system in place that works for everyone... :-)

Anonymous said...

Shit man, I so miss the late and great night buses of Edinburgh,there was always endless fun to be had......you want a fight. no problem ,some bawbag at the back will help, you want a boiled sweet, no problem ,some cute old deer who smells a bit like Tynecastles lavs will help. you want a bit pash, no problem..well not if your into some wee crack skank with red bits on her arms.ahh the memories.
how are you buddy???????Dougie H