When I'm bored...

And it's late, I like to say hi to various internet friends. Sometimes, however, there is no one on my messenger list to talk to and this happens...

[00:26] the_poetmaster: HEY WENCH!
[00:26] the_poetmaster: Whom I love.
[00:26] the_poetmaster: (in a platonic sense)
[00:26] the_poetmaster: Come talk to me.
[00:26] the_poetmaster: I am in need of company.
[00:27] the_poetmaster: I'm bored out my gourd.
[00:27] the_poetmaster: And if needed I'll sit here and blab on.
[00:27] the_poetmaster: Come on. Where the hell are you?
[00:28] the_poetmaster: HEY REDNECK!
[00:28] the_poetmaster: I got some chitlins for ya.
[00:28] the_poetmaster: Ok, so the redneck gag didn't get your attention.
[00:29] the_poetmaster: Now I know there's a reason you aint talking.
[00:29] the_poetmaster: Perhaps you are away.
[00:29] the_poetmaster: On a brb like the messenger says.
[00:29] the_poetmaster: But I doubt it.
[00:29] the_poetmaster: You never stray far from your pc.
[00:30] the_poetmaster: Perhaps you have popped to the mom and pop store to buy sugar candy for your spawn.
[00:31] the_poetmaster: Or could it be that you have been abducted by aliens as is so often the case in those backwood areas.
[00:31] the_poetmaster: If they want to probe you remember that it could be for the good of humanity. So close your eyes and think of the human race.
[00:31] the_poetmaster: Besides if you relax the probe slides in easier...
[00:32] the_poetmaster: God! Where the fuck are you!
[00:32] the_poetmaster: This isn't good enough you know.
[00:32] the_poetmaster: I may have to invest in another internet friend to talk to.
[00:33] the_poetmaster: Your customer service is shocking to say the least.
[00:33] the_poetmaster: I have half a mind to ask to see the manager.
[00:34] the_poetmaster: Who am I kidding? At this point I don't have half a mind, I'm having a one sided rant on instant messenger with an absent friend.
[00:35] the_poetmaster: What makes it worse is that your pic has you sitting smiling and it's doing nothing but tease me.
[00:35] the_poetmaster: "I'm here" it sleekly says.
[00:35] the_poetmaster: But; No you're not.
[00:35] the_poetmaster: WHY DO YOU TEASE ME SO?!
[00:36] the_poetmaster: Dum de dum.
[00:37] the_poetmaster: Damnit!
[00:37] the_poetmaster: Where are you?
[00:37] the_poetmaster: My music is not enough to slake me.
[00:37] the_poetmaster: I call upon the lords to command you to come to me...
[00:38] the_poetmaster: I call upon the lords to command you to come to me
[00:38] the_poetmaster: I call upon the lords to command you to come to me
[00:38] the_poetmaster: I call upon the lords to command you to come to me
[00:38] the_poetmaster: Etc etc etc
[00:38] the_poetmaster: (insert slaughter of a goat here)
[00:39] the_poetmaster: Add a dash of dried batwings...
[00:39] the_poetmaster: And a smidgen of tobasco.
[00:39] the_poetmaster: Et Voila!
[00:39] the_poetmaster: OH FOR FUCKS SAKE!
[00:39] the_poetmaster: I may as well be talking to myself here.
[00:40] the_poetmaster: I think that technically I am.
[00:41] the_poetmaster: My brain hurts now. I'm trying to figure out if that last sentance makes sense.
[00:41] the_poetmaster: and now I'm wondering if I spelt sentance correctly.
[00:41] the_poetmaster: Fucked if I know.
[00:41] the_poetmaster: I don't think I have.
[00:42] the_poetmaster: It doesn't look quite right.
[00:42] the_poetmaster: But there are words like that. Sneaky words like quiche.
[00:43] the_poetmaster: I can't spell charachter either.
[00:43] the_poetmaster: I'm pretty sure that only has one H.
[00:44] the_poetmaster: I'm now officially bored shitless.
[00:44] the_poetmaster: Bollocks to it. I'm off to look at some hardcore porn. Drop me a note when you see this.

I really should stop doing this. It can't be healthy.