I have...

In the past, derided my brother for being a Dr Who fan.

These days, I'm more mature about it. In fact, I'd like to take the opportunity to come out and admit it, I'm a huge Dr who fan. There, I said it. I feel better. It's like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders, I am now unburdened, free, emancipated... Etc etc etc...

And the reason for my sudden change of heart? My first joint in a week, the KLF, the BBC Radiophonic Workshop and a very powerful stereo. All of which served to open my eyes to the fact that in this day and age it's acceptable to be a Dr who Fan. Gone are the days when you had to hide your love away and not mention to your friends that every time you see a police call box you are reminded of Dr Who.

(In Edinburgh, for some reason we still have police public call boxes and whenever I see one I also wish it was a TARDIS, that the Dr was standing inside looking out and had decided that I looked like I could do with some time away from my surroundings.)

But that's the more insane side of my brain. The part of me which also wishes cartoon violence was applicable to humanity. Which may sound mad but when you consider the benefits "it's a good 'un," as an Australian would say....

Suicide bombers would no longer be a threat, as whenever a bomb blew up next to you all that would happen is you'd get blown off your feet, your hair would be a mess and you'd regenerate in a split second. If anything, suicide bombers would be hailed as entertainers.

War would also be pointless. I'd no longer have a problem with watching missile strikes blow up my fellow man because it'd be funnier than watching Tom and Jerry while tripping on LSD. Shit, the News would be great!

You and your friends could play Murder in The Dark with real weapons. From frying pans in the face to handguns, all weapons would be available. And useless. Shoot outs in the ghettos and the TV show "World's Wildest Police Videos" would be top of my list of things to watch. I'd put up with seeing Sheriff John Bunnell if it meant that when I saw the Rodney King tape I could laugh heartily, instead of wondering why humanity is anything but humane.

...But, I digress. Back to the thing in hand, Dr Who. Where was I? Oh yes, I'm a fan.

Mostly I'm a fan because it's a bit of escapeism. And where's the shame in that?

Now where did I put that long scarf and floppy hat...