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3/19/2006

It's not often

I admit to being incorrect about something, and I hope against hope that this is the last time I have to do it. Because, lets face it, eating crow should be avoided if it's at all possible.

In a post on Jenny's blog, where she was gushing about her new Ford Focus ST, I made a few derisive comments about her choice in cars. Normally, I'd stick to my words like a police dog on the arm of a felon, but having just came back from a test drive I really feel I should state, absolutely and categorically, I was wrong. The Ford Focus ST is a car to be reckoned with.

Police personnel up and down the country should probably stop reading this now. And, those of you who patrol in one of those shitty Vauxhall Astra's should weep openly as you realize that there will soon be "Boy Racers" out and about in one of these cars.

When given the opportunity to get behind the wheel of one of these cars remember to adjust the seat. Even more so if the person who has been driving it is Jenny. (Not that Jenny's some kind of deformed person, but she is taller than I am.)

Having been warned not to crash the car by Jenny I assured her in my most serious voice "I won't prang it." And I didn't. But in the wrong hands this car could quite easily end up slightly askew and halfway up a lampost before the driver has the time to think to himself "Oh shi..."

Ford claim that this car will do 0-60 in a time of 6 seconds and I wouldn't disagree with them on that account, even though I couldn't really give it a proper race car style launch, due to knowing that if I tried anything like that Jennys fist would have rapidly connected with one of the softer and more delicate parts of my anatomy.

Turning onto the Edinburgh bypass I did however get to test the rolling acceleration of the car from 10-100 mph. Let me tell you it wasn't slow. If you imagine a starving man making his first trip to an all you can eat buffet then you've pretty much got the picture.

Unfortunately I didn't get a chance to test the cars terminal speed as when Jenny said, in a somewhat pleading voice "You can slow down at any time." I changed up into sixth gear and let the accelerator take a break from being stomped to the floor. Until about two miles later, when the bypass drops past where I used to live as a child, I lowered the pedal again and hit 125 on the downhill run.

The next part of our journey took us along the roads where first I learned how to take the racing line when you come to a roundabout. "Time for a little steering/acceleration test." I thought to myself. Taking great care, of course, to look for the inevitable patches of diesel that have been slopped from the tanks of heavy good vehicles and any smooth surfaced drain covers. Both of which have been terminal to many a motor vehicle, driver, passenger or pedestrian over the years on this stretch of road.

Coming into the first roundabout I lifted off the accelerator, dipped the clutch, tapped the gas to keep the revs up, shifted down into third and scrubbed off some speed with a gentle tap on the brake. As the apex of the turn came level with the front end of the car I got back onto the go-go pedal and the car powered out of the roundabout with ease.

The second roundabout, which was reached in record time, is a slightly longer corner and can be rolled into at about fifty mph without trouble. The only drawback to it is that when you fire out of the other side of it there's a small rise in the road that can make the steering go very light in your hands. (Should you plan on doing this in an ST please take great care when depressing the accelerator as there is a slight lag on the turbo and a small amount of understeer will be experienced. This isn't a problem when there are so many angry horses on tap, as long as you remember to lift slightly off the gas to regain some of the lost traction before burying the pedal again.)

As Jenny made noises, that sounded very much like I imagine a Ring-Tailed Lemur would make if you snuck up on it and yelled "ARGHHH!" in it's ear, we shot along towards Saughton Prison. Where, in a few years time boy-racers and car thieves will be resident due to this car being too hard to turn down and way too easy to turn upside down.

6 comments:

jenny said...

I felt a bit like a naughty teenager last night...I was just waiting for the blue light to start flashing behind us!

I think Clarkson ought to watch his back, you could make a career out of reviewing test drives!

Anyway now I can add you to the list of men who have had a great ride with me!

Very nice of you to admit you were wrong. We must do it again sometime...when my knees stop shaking of course.

Wreckless Euroafrican said...

And all the time I thought the review was about riding the car... now I wonder. Will have to re read it, but will be difficult to keep an open mind....
Salagatle

jenny said...

What a dirty mind you have Max!

It was the car's clutch he was dipping not mine!!

Yeah so we went for a ride, I had shaking knees, felt like I was dong something naughty and was alledgedly making strange noises but I assure you it was all very innocent!

jenny said...

for "dong" read "doing"!! There was no dong involved...honestly guv'nor there wasn't!!

Divemaster GranDad said...

...and Jenny opens her mouth to swap one foot for the other...

jenny said...

I'm taking that as a clue tootsie..i am going to assume that you drive!

And your right women are great drivers...but I have had some good rides with men as well!!

(there I go again folks!)