Or alternatively, and more preferably, bring me coffee and cigarettes.
After successfully kicking the smoking habit for a week due to the bubonic plague, Ok I know it was nothing more than a bad chest infection but allow me at least a little drama in my life, I'm back on the cigarettes.
It would appear that the hooks are deep. Very deep. Deep enough to stress me to the point of wanting to knock seven bags of shite out of random people. And that's pretty deep. The funny, and by funny I mean humorous, side of it is that I'm smoking menthol cigarettes in an attempt to kid myself that they're not as bad as full on cigarettes.
And I know this is horseshit. But as we all know there are times when we need to pretend something is different than the reality. Ok, fair enough, maybe there aren't times when pretending is absolutely necessary but I've got to justify starting smoking again, so back off bubba.
The slightly good thing is that I've cut down on how many cigarettes I smoke in a day. Today I managed to get by on only 20 cancer sticks. And believe me, that's a big drop in my carcinogen intake. In fact, if I were to make a comparison, I'd liken the drop in my cigarette intake to the drop experienced by jumping from the top of the Eiffel Tower.
Though, to be fair, jumping from the top of the Eiffel Tower will kill me a lot quicker than 20 cigarettes a day. So, pass the lighter.
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