Been concern for me amongst family members and friends as to why I have not posted much over the last few weeks. This post is an attempt to address those concerns.
The problem with me is that I smoke way too much hash to be considered sane and rational. For those of you who know me, you'll know I was never the most rational of people to begin with but I'm wandering...
The reason I smoke so much hash is that at the age of, roughly, 18 I discovered LSD and had my eyes opened to exactly what it is that the universe is all about...
Chemistry.
You, me and everything else on this planet is the result of a chemical reaction. Plain and simple.
The chemistry of your brain becomes slightly different when any drug is ingested. Be it alcohol, nicotine, lysergic acid diethylamide, cocaine, magic mushrooms...
Altering your mind through the use of chemicals allows you to see through the veil of perception that humanity is hindered by on a daily basis. And I enjoy seeing the other side of the coin. But it also has a detrimental effect on your psyche.
In other words, it can drive you stark raving mad.
Hashish, in large quantities makes you paranoid. And that's a fact. Trust me, I know. But it also allows the user a deeper understanding of the nature of all things. It's a double sided coin.
I, personally, don't mind the paranoia, as someone very wise once said "There is no such thing as Paranoia. It's all true." It's the depression that accompanies the paranoia that knocks me on my arse on a regular basis.
And it's not self pitying depression either, Fuck no, that I could handle with ease. It's an overwhelming depression for all of humanity. I feel as though the whole gamut of humanity's pain has been directly injected into my soul/being/essence/heart (call it what you will) and I drop like an anchor into the darkest trench of the sea of my soul.
fortunately, I can swim. I've had enough practice holding my spiritual breath to make it back from the bottom of the Marinas trench.
So, in closing, if I go quiet for a while. Please don't panic. I'm just taking a swim.
2 comments:
You were obvioulsy using when u posted this lot!
The problem is the cheap crap u r being exposed to. Time 4 u 2 visit cousin Steve and savour some of the original, home grown, no chemicals added stuff available in darkest africa.
M.A.W.M.L.I.A
I'm going out on a controversial limb here...at the risk of a slap from my good aunty P and the rest of you...
Life is all about choices, weighing up the pros and cons of each choice and making a decision. That my Cuzzin chooses to ingest all sorts of chemicals is entirely up to him, and his choice. One day, hopefully, he may decide that he's had enough of them before they do any (more?) serious harm.
That's not to say I condone the taking of said chemicals... I'm a daddy, and I see the concern of a mother for her son that sees, hears and reads about what he's up to. After all, it's very public on these spaces and some individuals out there tend to encourage further "experimentation".
As Lee (Goddess) mentions, perhaps it's best to leave this sort of thing off this forum. It reminds me of a posting I made a while ago, brought upon by the words of the band "Creed", which basically asked "what if our words could be judged like a crime?". That day is already upon us, just look at the "war on terrorism" that's used websites and emails to incarcerate people, guilty or not. Maybe it's just a matter of time before it's taken to misdemeanour crimes too...
{end of lecture}... :-)
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