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11/07/2005

Where are all the good men dead?

In the heart or in the head?

Personally I think I'm dead in the heart department more than in the head. I read too much to be dead in the head. But the heart? That's a different kettle of fish.

It began one sunny day at a harbor not far from where I used to work. That was the day my heart was shattered. Her name isn't important, her actions were.

Did her choice break me? Was her breaking my heart the thing that set me off on this path that I'm on? Fucked if I know. But I'm damn sure that her actions were the catalyst for me slowly, but surely, losing my ability to love.

I know that may sound a tad melodramatic but it is honestly how I feel. No bullshit.

5 comments:

jenny said...

give yourself a shake for god's sake. Lost your ability to love? You seem to love every girl you ever have a crush on!! You may have had your heart broken but get over it...we've all been there and done that and if we all went round analysing it for years we'd all feel like bloody topping ourselves and no-one would ever meet anyone again. Listen carefully...you will nevr find the perfect woman you strive for...like the perfect man she does not exsist, instead you will meet a lovely female who has qualities you admire and possibly some you don't but you will compromise on the niggles for the sake of the all the good things and you will love her and be loved back, you will have good times and bad times, you will argue and make up and when you look back years later the good will out weigh the bad and the niggles will be quirks that you have grown to love about her. You are not perfect either and she will compromise your niggles because she thinks your funny, intresting, good looking and challenging...and you live happily ever after.Enough with the feeling sorry for yourself. I can't be arsed with it. Get your happy face on for Saturday or else I ain't working with you!!! Oh and you may not like the alien story but I do and so does 8 year old and we want an ending you hear me!!!! Fucker that you are!

Love Ya!

Anonymous said...

She wasn't a shelfish girl, was she RossPoss, just wasn't the right girl for you. The right one is out there, and of course you haven't lost the ability to love, just make an effort, listen to JennyMay. Look at me and my "partner" you'll be dancing at our wedding one day soon. Better you never thought that would happen. Love you Loads.

Divemaster GranDad said...

Cuzz...take a moment to refresh your mind on the paragraph to the right of your page, ending with "Feel Love, as Love is."...whatever it may be at the time, feel it, live it, eat it, drink it, sleep it, whatever...or if it goes sour, piss it out and start again. Some day it'll stay in your heart.

jenny said...

Christ I tell you if Steve wasn't taken I'd be on the next flight out to RSA!! A man with a good sensible head and a bit of emotion...yum! lOL!

Divemaster GranDad said...

{hot flushes...}...been there, done that, burnt the t-shirt. Experience, as bad as it may feel at the time, is what we all learn and survive from. I once fell for someone so hard and she broke my heart too, but time heals those kind of wounds...until the next time you see her (as I did) and the pain comes rushing back, though then it's only for a brief period until you remember you've survived and moved on to what, hopefully, is better...

I'm just glad there's thousands of miles of ocean and African continent between us, or Jen and I might have to get a room... ROTFL...