Hide the porno's, Momma's coming to visit.

I'm shamed. Beyond belief.

My mother came to visit me this morning to continue the torture of re-decoration. She was in the cupboards, drawers and storage spaces quicker than Michael Jackson gets into a kindergarten.
It was a frightening experience. For both of us.

I was panicking that she wouldn't discover my box of porn mags. She was worried about seeing a spider.

I thought I had all my porn hidden away well enough to evade her. It was in a locked cupboard for fucks sake! One thing I have learned is that Mothers can pick locks. Or somehow have the ability to open locked cupboards.